Dreaming Of You
by Januarydensi
Summary: A DENSI AU STORY. Two people connected in the past found each other again in the present. The problem is, only one of them remembers the other.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

A taxi pulled over in front of a lavish hotel in Los Angeles. A male attendant hurriedly strode towards the passenger door and was quick to hold it open as a dark haired woman emerged from it.

The woman paused and quietly wandered her hazel eyes around. Noticing another commissionaire was patiently waiting for her at the front door, she began her pace towards the entrance.

"Good evening, ma'am." She heard him greeted her politely.

A small smile graced her lips as she acknowledged him. "Good evening."

She tried not to feel dazed at the luxurious expanse of the hotel lobby that welcomed her as soon as she stepped inside. _Talk about richness,_ she murmured only to herself. Turning to the left where the large ballroom she was aware was located, she saw a burly man standing just before the double door and guarding the room from possible intruders. In his hand was a clip folder he was giving a glance. He heard her steps and looked up to see her.

Gathering all the confidence she had, she stepped closer to him. "Good evening."

"Good evening, ma'am." He bowed slightly.

She could feel the man's eyes on her, looking over her form, scrutinizing every details of her body that was covered in a long black strapless sequined dress. Trying not to roll her eyes at his obvious perusal, she waited as he indulged himself with the view, certain that she'll pass his standard.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked, eyes already satisfied.

She smiled sweetly. "Yes, you can. Is this where Mr. Hernandez' birthday party being held?"

"Yes. Are you one of his guests?" Eyebrows raised in suspicion, he questioned. "If you are, tell me your name so I can confirm it in this list." The man offered, raising the folder in his hand.

"Actually, I'm not in it. You see, I'm supposed to arrive with my husband." She replied, lifting her left hand to show him the gold band circling her ring finger. "But my plane got delayed in Florida so he left to attend this party without me. He's one of Mr. Hernandez' employees. You can check his name, _Max Gentry_. I'm pretty sure he's in that list."

Before Mr. Burly could respond, the door opened and a shaggy blonde haired man, looking dashingly handsome in a suit, stepped out. His serious face broke out in a smile as he took a step closer to her. Encircling an arm around her narrow waist, he pulled her closer to him. "I thought you won't be coming, _Isabel_." He whispered huskily before pressing his lips against hers.

She closed her eyes and let him drown her in his kiss. Before she knew it, she was responding to him, her hands already sitting comfortably on his broad shoulders. Out of breath, she broke the kiss. "And missed seeing you in a suit. I don't think so, babe." She replied while her fingers softly brushed the lipstick stain on his lips she left. "I missed you, _Max._ "

"I missed you more."

The passion in his voice made her stare at his eyes. They were blue, like the color of the sky, she noted. They were gazing at her so intensely that she felt she was being pulled towards him, drenching her on the inscrutable emotions he was giving off.

A clearing of throat broke the strange spell that was casted between them. She watched as the man holding her clenched his jaw at the interruption. With his hand still planted on her waist, he turned to Mr. Burly with a dark expression on his face.

"You got a problem, Conroy?" He asked coldly, warning evident in his tone.

The man, seemed to fear for his life, was quick to back down. "Nothing man."

She tried to hide her astonishment with a pity smile thrown at Mr. Burly/Conroy. It startled her to witness that a guy as large as Conroy appeared to have known how dangerous the man standing beside her was. _Is he really that deadly?_ She quietly asked herself. But the gentleness his fingers was giving her as they grazed over her covered skin was telling her the opposite.

When she felt him removed his grip on her, she thought he would leave her on her own. But to her surprise, he took her hand and enclosed it with his as he led her inside ignoring the large man completely. Holding hands, they walked through the door.

* * *

The party was already in full swing, she noticed instantly when they entered. Tables and chairs were conveniently situated around the spacious room, leaving the center area free for dancing. A band was busy performing on the stage. Food and drinks were flowing abundantly. People, all in formal attire, were scattered around. Some were seating enjoying their food, others were engaged in conversations. There were also some pairs dancing at the center.

Roaming her eyes around, she quickly recognized Mr. Anton Hernandez. The tall older man was standing on one corner of the room, looking powerful and mighty in a designer tuxedo while talking to a few men. Whatever it was they were discussing must have been important, she discerned from the way they looked engrossed as they exchanged words.

"Room 2316. Ready. Deal." She whispered. She didn't realize her voice was loud enough for her companion to hear.

He looked at her with wide eyes. "You can read lips?"

"Yeah. One of the many things I am good at, _honey_." She added the endearment to tease him.

"If that's the case, I'm glad I married you, _p-princess_."

Her eyebrow arched in awe at his chosen nickname. " _Princess_? I haven't heard that before, well, aside from my father."

She noticed a strange emotion crossed his face. It was gone in an instant but it left her wondering.

"Let's go, I'll introduce you to him." He said suddenly, quickening his steps towards his boss.

Without words, she let him guide her.

* * *

" _Max!_ "

She felt his hold on her hand tightened when they heard the birthday celebrant's voice.

"Wait," She halted and hastily pulled out a wrapped gift from her purse. "Can't greet him without a present." She explained to his curiosity.

He grinned at her, "Girl Scout?"

"Back in the days."

They resumed their walk. This time, his hand laid on the small of her back. Seeking uneasiness from how intimate he was touching her, she was puzzled when she didn't find any. If she was going to be honest, his touch felt natural.

"Just the man I am looking for!" Anton bellowed when they reached him. Noticing her, his face brightened and his smile grew wide. "And who is this pretty lady with you, _Gentry_?"

"I'd like you to meet my wife, _Isabela_."

"I didn't know you're married. You've been keeping her from us and I can see why." He followed his comment with a laugh. Patting his employee's shoulder, he said. "You did a good job, _Max_."

She felt her companion's discomfort as Anton raked his eyes over her with notable interest and admiration.

"Happy birthday, Mr. Hernandez." She greeted the older man, handing him her present.

The celebrant accepted the box and to her surprise, held her hand. "Thank you for the gift. Please call me Anton, Isabela. What a beautiful name for a beautiful woman." He lifted her palm and lightly kissed the back of it.

She tried not to flinch at his action and forced herself to smile at his compliment. The man beside her stiffened and his hold on her back tightened while he watched his boss.

"Thank you, A-Anton." She said, lightly withdrawing her hand from his grip.

"You are one lucky man, _Max._ "

"Yes. Yes, I am."

His words made her glanced at him. He said it so seriously that she almost believed it herself.

* * *

"When's the trade going to take place?" She asked in murmur in between sipping her champagne, her eyes were focused on the stage. The band was just finishing an upbeat song.

"An hour from now. They are getting everything prepared." He replied. "Have your team ready."

"They already are. We've been monitoring our man since he left his building."

He nodded and scanned the place. "Well, we can't do anything more than to wait now. How about we enjoy the party, _wife?_ " Without waiting for her reply, he gently grabbed her hand and led her towards the center.

She found herself being drag towards the dance area just as the band's version of Michael Buble's You Don't Know Me started playing.

 _You give your hand to me  
Then you say hello  
I can hardly speak  
My heart is beating so  
And anyone can tell  
You think you know me well  
But you don't know me_

"Wha-?" She muttered in panic when he snaked his arms around her waist. His action made her rest her hands on his shoulders on impulse.

"They're watching us." He whispered softly on her ear.

Feeling a tingling sensation from the warmth of his breath, she could only say, "Oh,"

 _No, you don't know the one  
Who dreams of you at night  
And longs to kiss your lips  
And longs to hold you tight  
Oh I'm just a friend  
That's all I've ever been  
'Cause you don't know me_

With their bodies pressed against each other, they danced to the slow rythm of the song. Their gazes were locked on each other and she couldn't helped but feel a sense of déja vu, like this had already happened in the past. Remembering that their current position was the same position they had earlier when they kissed, she dismissed the disturbing familiarity from her mind and unconsciously blushed as she recalled how his lips felt against hers.

Afraid that he might notice the reddening of her cheeks, she propped her head over his chest and closed her eyes, relaxing on the comforting feeling of his body.

 _I never knew  
The art of making love  
Though my heart aches  
With love for you  
Afraid and shy  
I've let my chance to go by  
The chance that you might  
Love me, too_

When she opened her eyes and lifted her head to see him, she was not surprised to find him staring at her. She felt him drawing deep breaths and worry flooded her heart.

"Are you alright?" She checked, reaching up one hand to cup his cheek in instinct.

Instead of answering her, he held her palm that was on his face, closed his eyes and lightly leaned his head against it.

 _You give your hand to me  
And then you say good-bye  
I watch you walk away  
Beside the lucky guy  
You'll never never know  
The one who loves you so  
Well, you don't know me_

"Where have you been?" He asked, pain was evident in his voice.

Her chest tightened and tears began clouding her eyes at the look of anguish on his face when he opened his baby blues and gazed at her.

She wanted to answer him, she really did. But she didn't know what to tell him.

But there was one thing she felt she ought to say. "I-I'm sorry..."

* * *

He was watching her. Looking at her as she took a pair of handcuffs from her teammate, a large buff man, and crouched on the carpeted floor to carelessly enclose the unconscious man's hands in it.

He shouldn't be there, there was a risk his cover could be blown the longer he stayed. It was enough that he helped her, helped her team to apprehend their suspect. But he couldn't go just yet, couldn't make his feet take a step away from her.

The door opened and a shorter blonde haired man entered. "Is he still alive?" The man asked as he strolled towards his teammates.

She grinned at the two men. "Yeah. He'll wake up. A little bit disoriented but he will."

"Do you have to hit him that hard? Who's gonna bring him down? We're on the 24th floor." The buff man chided with mock annoyance.

He smiled unknowingly when she rolled her eyes at her teammate's words. "He should be grateful I didn't kill him. He was about to shoot..." She paused, glanced at him and beamed. "...my _husband_."

He smirked at her words, decided to move from his position on the corner of the room and walked over towards them. "Detective Martin Deeks, LAPD." He held out his hand.

She stood up straight, smiled and took his palm and shook it. "Agent Kensi Blye, NCIS. Nice to meet you, Detective."

"Nice to meet you too, Agent."

"Kensi would do, Detective."

"Only if you don't call me detective."

"How am I supposed to call you?" She asked with an arched eyebrow.

He just shrugged and turned to face her teammates who were watching them interestingly. "I think congratulations is in order."

"Thank you, Detective Deeks." The shorter of the two men replied. "I'm Agent G. Callen." He introduced himself with a handshake, that Deeks readily accepted, before waving to the larger one. "This is Agent Sam Hanna."

"We couldn't have done it without your help, Detective. Thank you." Sam uttered sincerely while shaking his hand.

"Happy to help. After all, we're on the same side."

Kensi kept her eyes on the three men as they exchanged greetings and introductions. Her gaze drifted to the shaggy blonde haired man she now knew as LAPD Detective Martin Deeks.

 _Deeks._

She was sure she had never encountered that name before but why did it sound familiar? Trying to think where she might have heard it and coming up with no explanation, Kensi shook her head in surrender. Her action didn't go unnoticed to Deeks.

"Are you okay?" He looked at her with concern.

"Uhm, yeah. You? I saw you got hit, was it bad?"

"No, it's alright. I'm alright." She watched as he run his fingers through his hair. "Is he the guy you're after?" Deeks asked, eyes focused on the knocked out cold man in handcuffs.

Sam answered. "Yes, Corporal Ismael Abbott. He is suspected to have killed his friend/partner in crime, also a marine officer, and tried to sell the smuggled weapons they took from Iraq to Hernandez."

"Yeah, my boss would definitely buy those kind of weapons." He quipped without humor.

"Do you have to go back to the party?" Kensi questioned.

He nodded. "I kinda need to. Hernandez is probably enraged by now, already aware that Abbott didn't show up."

"He sorta did but only a floor higher." Sam jived.

"I'm afraid I can't tell him that." He retorted with a smile on his lips.

* * *

He had just exited the room after saying his goodbye to the team of federal agents and was about to stride towards the elevator when he heard the door he just closed opened and someone stepped out.

"Deeks!"

Her voice, the way she uttered his name, halted his movement and almost stopped his breathing. It sounded very familiar. If Deeks would remain in his position with his back on her, he could imagine that she just called him the same way she did 12 years ago. He slowly closed his eyes. _'Belle.'_ It had been more than a decade but he could still recall how she sounded as if the last time he had heard of her was just yesterday.

He listened as she paced and stopped in front of him. It was a long prospect but Deeks hoped that when he open his eyes, he would see her looking at him, recognizing him not as Detective Martin Deeks she just met but as Martin Brandel, her friend from 12 years ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: 

Please enjoy. Thank you for your reviews/favorites/follows.

This chapter is originally longer but I decided to divide them into two. You can tell by the way it ended.

I'd like to thank Densiland. Her site has been a great help to me especially when I was recalling NCIS LA dialogues. Thank you. :)

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 _Earlier that day_

 _Kensi_

 _She was drowning. The more she struggled to breathe, the more water was going into her body. Reaching her arms out, she tried grasping for something or someone. But there was nothing nor no one she could hold onto. She blinked once, twice, trying to see just any thing from the blurry space before her. She felt herself going down and she was helpless to do anything. The pounding ache in her head wasn't helping her current state. Slowly, she closed her eyes in surrender._

 _'This is it.' Her one last thought before she succumbed into unconsciousness._

 _She blinked her eyes open when she sensed something grabbed her hand. A hazy image of a man came into her view, she couldn't recognize who he was but a safety feeling flooded her when he pulled her close to him. She felt his arm wrapped around her waist and frantically yet carefully hauled her up onto the surface. With her head now above the water, she was ushered toward the shore._

 _She wanted to see him, the man who rescued her, but as soon as her body hit the solid ground her eyes grew heavy and she passed out._ _When she regained her consciousness, she was coughing water and her lung was burning from lack of air._

 _"Belle! You're awake!" She heard a man's voice from her side. When she turned toward him, her disoriented hazels met a worried and teary pair of baby blues._

 _"Belle..." She repeated the name he called her in whisper and felt herself fainting for the second time with the man's eyes as the last image etched in her mind._

Early morning rays of sun had teasingly peeked through her curtained window, hit her right on her face and pulled her from her dream. Kensi slowly fluttered her eyes open.

 _Another night, another dream._ She quietly murmured to herself as she stretched out her body on the bed.

She knew she had dreams every night but as soon as she woke up, she couldn't remember what it was. The only thing she could recall was a person's presence and his pair of blue eyes as they stared at her because they were like the color of the clear sky. _His._ Because despite having no recollection of what her dream was, she was aware that the eyes belonged to a man. Whoever he was or what his name was, Kensi had no idea. But the overwhelming feeling she had whenever she would look deep into those baby blues was imprinted in her memory.

Knowing she didn't have extra time to spare thinking who the man in her dream was again, she roused from the bed to do her morning routine before going to work.

* * *

Driving in her car on the way to her job, Kensi thoughts wandered on how she had arrived in Los Angeles and became a Special Agent at NCIS Office of Special Projects for 3 months now.

She had already been employed at NCIS Norfolk for almost a year when she had heard of an opening at one of NCIS branches in California. Assuming that the vacant position was in San Diego, she quickly submitted her updated resume and application letter through e-mail. It had been years since she stayed back home for more than a week and she had been wanting to return to where she spent her youth.

After finishing a degree in Politics and International Studies at Cornell University, she applied at NCIS immediately. Her application process took almost 9 months to finish. When she was hired as an agent, she underwent and completed her Criminal Investigators Training Program in Glynco, Georgia.

Kensi was first posted at Washington, DC office for 11 months. She was then transferred to Tokyo 7th Fleet HQ. After 5 months, she was stationed at Norfolk, Virginia. Her experiences at the three branches of NCIS honed her investigating skill but as months passed by, a feeling of restlessness started growing in her. It was as if she was longing for something or someone and she couldn't figure out what or who it was yet.

Contemplating she would finally find the cause of her discontent if she was stationed at San Diego, she didn't think twice, applied and waited patiently if her transfer had been approved. To her surprise when she got a call from Henrietta Lange, she found out that the vacancy was not in San Diego but was in Los Angeles instead. There was only one branch of NCIS in LA and it was the secretive OSP.

Agents like her were well aware on how that unique branch operates. Unlike any other office of NCIS, OSP was one-of-a-kind because their Special Agents specializes in covert operations, assuming different identities and aliases during their missions. Those who were working for them were required to use cover stories to maintain the branch's secrecy.

Looking back at how stunned she was when she answered the cellphone call from OSP's very own Operations Manager, the legendary Henrietta Lange, a smile spread across her face as she fondly remembered the way she stuttered at her response.

* * *

 _She was sitting on her desk chair, typing her report for the day. Trying to hide how she was feeling dejected lately, Kensi focused her energy on finishing her every day's tasks. Thinking today was no different, she worked on her routine. But how wrong she would be. It was already after work hours and as she roamed her eyes around, she noticed her teammates were already preparing themselves to leave the office._

 _"Hey, Kensi." Brian, her team leader called her from his position on his desk. "We're going to Johnny's, care to join us?" He asked._

 _Johnny's was a well-known bar close to their office. Their team used to visit the place every now and then. It was not as crowded as the other bars in the area and the ambience was great. Kensi liked being there and if she wasn't feeling down that night, a beer or two would be nice._

 _"Rain check, I'm still not finish with this." She answered, motioning her hand over to her laptop._

 _"Okay but we'll save a seat for you in case you change your mind."_

 _She just nodded and thanked him for his thoughtfulness before going back to_ _her typing. After bidding their goodbyes to her, her teammates left the office with her watching them and returning their farewell. As soon as she was left alone, she didn't waste time and went back to her computer._

 _An hour later, Kensi blew out an exhale before pinching the bridge of her nose, exhaustion was beginning to take over her body. Her gaze drifted to the calendar sitting on her desk, an encircled date caught her attention. It was the day she submitted her application for transfer at California. She marked it, wanting to remember the exact time she e-mailed her resume. Counting how many days had passed, she noted that it had already been two weeks and she had not heard any news regarding her request. She hated to admit but the thought of her rejection was the reason of her dismay these past days._

 _Lifting her arms up her head, a yawn escaped her lips. She was trying to go back to finishing her report when she heard the ringing sound of her cellphone. Looking at who the caller was, she frowned when she didn't recognize the number but answered it nonetheless._

 _"Good evening. Is this Agent Kensi Blye?" She heard a woman's voice from the other line._

 _"Good evening. Yes, I'm her. May I know who this is?"_

 _"This is Henrietta Lange of NCIS OSP." The woman introduced herself and Kensi's eyes widened recognizing her and her office immediately._

 _"G-Good evening, Mrs. Lange." She rolled her eyes at her stammering._

 _"Call me Hetty, Agent Blye. And it's a Miss. I hope I'm not disturbing you."_

 _Surprised at the older woman's humble concern, Kensi was speechless for a moment._

 _"Agent Blye? Are you still there?"_

 _Hetty's voice from the other end of the line brought her back to their conversation. "Oh okay, Hetty. And no, I'm just finishing some paperworks." She answered the questions._

 _The Operations Manager_ _then apologized for calling so late, explaining to her that the filtering process for qualified applicants took longer than she expected. Kensi was startled to know that her application was for OSP and not for San Diego. The older woman confirmed that they had a vacancy in their office and were looking for a Special Agent for their A-team. Hetty also asked about her current work status._

 _"Uhm, yes. I'm presently assigned here in Norfolk. I've been here for 11 months now to be exact." She disclosed._

 _"I hope you're not tied to a long term assignment because I need you here in LA as soon as possible."_

 _Kensi felt the need to catch her breath upon hearing the older woman's words. "E-Excuse me?"_

 _"Congratulations Agent Blye, your application has been accepted."_

 _Hetty's call ended with her welcoming the younger woman to her team._

 _Kensi, all alone in the office, squealed like a child in happiness and excitement._

 _'Finally!'_

 _She didn't care that Los Angeles was a 2-hour drive from San Diego, the two cities were both in California thus making her almost home._

 _It took her almost a month before she was able to move to her newly rented one-bedroom apartment in LA and start her work at OSP._

* * *

"Good morning!" She greeted her teammates when she entered the bullpen and paced to her desk.

"Morning Kens." Callen, their team leader, responded almost distractedly. His eyes glued to the improvised hoop a few steps from him and his hand was holding a crumpled paper shaped into a ball.

"Good morning Kensi." Sam, a former Navy Seal and Callen's partner, greeted back before admonishing the short haired blonde guy. "Move a step away G. I saw you advanced closer."

"I did not! Why would I move?"

"Saw it G."

Kensi rolled her eyes at the two bantering Senior Special Agents before sitting on her chair. The scene before her was no longer strange to her. This wasn't the first time they played the H.O.R.S.E. paper basketball game using the office's resources only to end up without a winner or a loser. Choosing to tune the two men out, she brought out her laptop from her bag and turned it on.

"Kens, did you see me move?" Callen asked.

Raising both of her hands, she answered with her eyes not leaving the laptop screen and a smile on her lips. "Hey, leave me out of your childish game."

The two men exchanged amused looks.

"You tell her." She heard Callen urged Sam.

Kensi started browsing the computer. If she had looked up, she would see her teammates smirking faces looking at her.

"And your jelly bracelets are not childish?" Sam suddenly spoke.

"What's with the colorful rubbers, Kens?" Callen added.

She threw her right arm a glance and caught several bright colored bracelets peeking from her long sleeve. Trying to ignore the reddening of her cheeks, she fixed her sleeve hastily, concealing them from prying eyes, before looking up to her teammates. "What? They are my lucky charms." Kensi answered defensively.

Yes. The 72 colorful jelly bracelets in her collection were her lucky charms. How did they end up in her possession? She had no idea. But 12 years ago when she was 15 and almost 16, she surprisingly found both of her arms enclosed in 20 of them and her pockets filled with numerous more. When she counted the ornaments, Kensi got a total of 72.

Despite having no recollection of purchasing them or of someone giving them to her, she kept the trinkets securely. The jelly bracelets were a clue to a life she had forgotten and a life she didn't know if she would still remember. She immediately considered them her lucky charms because they were with her when she survived whatever it was that happened to her.

Recognizing their importance and not wanting to risk the chance of them getting destroyed, she tucked them away. She hid the bracelets in her box of mementos alongside several of her prized possessions and sacred belongings. The box was placed in the attic of her father's house in San Diego and had been there since then.

Last month during one of her weekly weekend stays at her-father's-but-now-her house, Kensi cleaned the attic and caught sight of the box safely lying on one of the corners. She opened it with hesitation, afraid to cry on what her eyes will see. Ever since she sealed it years ago, she didn't dare open it. But 4 weeks ago was different, she somehow found the courage to face her past. With shaking hands, she ripped the tape open and instantly identified its contents. Tears fell from her eyes as her fingers grazed the priceless and irreplaceable items. When she reached for the jelly bracelets, an unexplainable feeling opted her to remove them from their storage. She took them out from the box and brought them with her to her apartment in Los Angeles.

That morning when she was about to leave her place, an absurd idea entered her mind. Kensi grabbed a few of the jelly bracelets and wore them around her arm. This was the first time she did that. It was odd yet the feeling of the colorful plastic rubbers on her skin seemed familiar. And just like some of the things in her life, she was clueless as to why.

When Callen and Sam sensed the protective tone in her reply, they deduced her invisible wall. The younger woman had been their teammate for 3 months now and immediately recognized her talent. She was a born operator and Callen even voiced it out one time after the end of one of their successful missions. She was surprised to say the least and unknowingly blushed at the compliment.

But despite how the three of them grew closer over the months and even with both of them began treating her like a younger sister, Kensi was still a mystery for them. There were instances when she was welcoming, revealing some portions of her life to them like how she grew up in San Diego and her experiences as an NCIS agent before her transfer to OSP. Callen and Sam were also told by her that her father was a former Marine Officer.

But there were cases, like this time, that she appeared to be distant. And the Senior Agents knew not to probe more and respect her privacy. The two men were knowledgeable of life baggages, having several of them in their own lives. So when it came to secrets and mysteries, both men understood Kensi.

"Hey, Kens." Callen's voice roused her from her reverie.

Her face reddened more knowing she had been caught zoning out. She was about to speak when they heard Eric's, the team Technical Operator, whistle. It was a signal that they have a case and their presence were required upstairs. Grabbing the chance not to explain her day dreaming, Kensi stood up and began walking toward the stairs. She left her teammates wondering about her weird behavior.

* * *

Hours later, Kensi found herself in the wardrobe room of the office. She was standing in front of a mirror in a long black strapless sequined dress. Her hair was in an updo and her face was covered in make-up. Not to brag but she looked beautiful, she thought.

She drew a deep breath to soothe her nervousness. This wasn't her first undercover mission. Since her transfer, she was immediately introduced to the nature of her job and found herself fascinated to the different personas she had to adopt. The lying part was a struggle for her at first. Kensi was never a good liar but over time, she had learnt of its importance to the success of her job. She'll get killed if she failed to convince their person of interest of her character. The chance of innocent people getting hurt if her mission was unsuccessful was large. Justice won't be served to the victim and his/her family if their suspect got away. With these thoughts in her mind, Kensi did everything that was necessary to the victory of their goal everytime. And this pursuit was the same as any other. There was no reason she wouldn't give her all to its accomplishment. Another breath was taken in.

"The dress looks good on you, Agent Blye."

Kensi whirled around and saw the older woman's eyes perusing her. She hoped Hetty was satisfied with how she prepared herself. A pleasing smile broke out on her boss's lips and it brought her relief.

"Thanks, Hetty."

Hetty brought out a make-up brush from her pocket and offered it to the younger woman. "Take this."

A creased formed on Kensi's brows as she took the innocent looking brush. "I-I just did my make-up." She uttered as she studied the small thing. The older woman didn't reply but her encouraging smile motioned Kensi to look at it with more interest. Accidentally, she pressed a button and a blade emerged. Her eyes beamed in awe. "Oh, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen."

"I figured you'd like it. Take it with you. Like you, it's both feminine" Hetty paused and smiled. "and deadly. Therein lies its true value."

"You think I'm feminine and deadly?"

"Among many things. It's what makes you so good at this job. "

That was another surprise for her. Kensi was not an experienced operator. There were times she thought her skills did not match to the likes of Callen and Sam who were expert undercover agents. To hear from Hetty that she was good, she was beyond stunned and could only look at her boss with unblinking eyes.

"You don't believe me?" The shorter woman look at her in bewilderment.

She shook her head no. "It's not like that, Hetty. I believe you but I am new to this kind of work. To say that I am good is like..." She would like to finish her statement with _unbelievable_ but that would contradict her _believe_ word in the beginning. Kensi opted to shut her mouth.

Hetty plastered an understanding smile. "I know what you want to say, Agent Blye. But I want you to remember this, you are here because you are good. You are here because you deserve to be here. Your teammates trust you. I believe in you. Do not doubt your capability, not for once. Do you remember what you wrote in your application letter?"

She blushed when she remembered how thoughtlessly she wrote that letter. "Yes. I didn't know I was applying here. I thought the vacancy was in San Diego so I asked for a chance to be closer to my root."

Hetty nodded. "When I read your letter, I felt your longing. I sensed how much you wanted to be near your father and to the fond memories you have with him during your youth. You are a passionate person. You do things with your heart and I see that in every mission you have had. That trait of yours makes you perfect for OSP. I hope you find it in your heart to appreciate yourself more. You are a good agent, Agent Blye."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Are you alright?"

Callen's voice broke her out from her reverie. Sitting at the back of the taxi her team leader was driving, Kensi removed her sight from the window to glance at him. "Yeah, I'm fine." She replied while her fingers were unconsciously toying the gold band her left ring finger was sporting.

"Lt. Bates confirmed that he already got a hold of his undercover detective. _Max Gentry_ is expecting you." He informed her.

"How is this _Max_ going to know who I am?" She asked.

"You were described to him. He was told that his wife _Isabel_ would be coming."

"And me being there all of a sudden won't compromise his work?"

"Don't worry, Kens. This _Max_ guy is one of the best, Lt. Bates said so himself. He knows what to do."

She just nodded. Despite her initial reluctance in putting her trust to this _Max_ , Kensi knew there was nothing much she could do. NCIS needed an access to Anton Hernandez to apprehend their suspect and this undercover cop was unfortunately the only way they have.

Their case for today involved two marine officers, one, Corporal Timothy Powers, was already dead suspected to have killed by the other one, Corporal Ismael Abbott. According to their initial investigation, these two men smuggled weapons from their latest mission in Iraq and were about to sell them to an illegal arms dealer. But somehow their partnership had gone sour, ending in the death of Corporal Powers while Corporal Abbott was at large with the weapons.

Eric and Nell had managed to identify the illegal arms dealer interested in buying the smuggled weapons as Anton Hernandez. According to his profile, he was a businessman engaged in manufacturing. It was very timely that it was his birthday today and a party will be held in one of LA's well known hotels in celebration.

Tracking Corporal Abbott's cellphone, the wonder twins of Ops Center discovered the officer's deal with Hernandez was going to take place during the party. When and where exactly were the questions they didn't have the answer yet. Wise enough, the businessman/illegal arms dealer wouldn't disclose the details of the trade during his short conversation with Abbott. But one thing was for sure, they needed an entry to Hernandez's celebration.

How did Hetty learn that an undercover cop was currently posing as one of Hernandez's men was beyond Kensi's imagination. But the older woman knew things they, ordinary agents, did not. The shorter woman had connections wide, deep and gained through the years. Only Hetty would know that LAPD Lt. Bates had a man in Hernandez's team. Only Hetty would discern that they could use the undercover cop's help in completing their mission.

So here they were right now on the way to the party with Kensi posing as _Max's wife Isabel_ and Callen behind the wheel as a taxi driver while Sam was on stand by.

Kensi had no idea who _Max_ was but she was hoping their _marriage_ would be something believable. She didn't want to compromise the undercover cop's identity, knowing how hard it was to gain and maintain a persona right in the middle of the enemies.

* * *

 _Earlier that day_

 _Deeks_

 _I cannot believe this._ He muttered to himself while passing through the door of the diner he was in with hurried steps. As soon as he was outside, he stopped and let out an exhale. _Federal Agents._ He spat the words with a little disdain. He cannot believe that Lt. Bates would risk jeopardizing his mission to help these agents. He had nothing against these federal people personally but they can be a pain in the ass at work. From his experiences with them through several instances, Deeks had not been a fan.

He took several deep breaths to appease himself and subtly roamed his eyes around. Not wanting to risk somebody recognizing him, he quietly left the area. Walking towards the bus stop, a view from inside a store caught his eyes. Deeks halted and without thinking twice entered the place.

An hour later, he was back to his cover place. It was a studio type apartment in one of LA's questionable neighborhood. The 20 square feet room was perfect for his alias, a man known in the street as _Max Gentry. Max_ was a mysterious man with a suspicious background who arrived in the area 6 months ago. He rented the small space for a year and paid fully in cash to the surprise of the landlord.

Nobody knew what he really does for a living but whatever it was, people was sure it was crooked and illegal. Deeks had heard that some of his neighbors believed that he was a hit man while others speculated him to be a member of a gang. Having those kind of hearsay about him actually made him glad because no one would dare cross him and they would be wary when interacting with him.

Not that it would be a problem if somebody would be stupid enough to provoke him. Deeks could take care of himself, he was after all a cop. But he didn't need complications. He was in a mission. The less intricate his life as _Max Gentry_ would be the better for him.

He let out a sigh when he remembered what his handler had told him when they met up an hour ago. Early that morning, Deeks received a coded message on his cellphone from LAPD asking him to meet his handler in a diner not too far from his place. It was an emergency meeting and his presence was very much required. Sensing the hastiness in the message, he went without hesitation.

To his surprise, he was told to help a team of federal agents in their case. They needed an access to Hernandez and only he could give them that. Deeks was loathing to agree but his handler said that Lt. Bates wouldn't take no for an answer. Left with no other choice but to say yes, he exited the diner in annoyance.

A woman would pose as his wife and would attend the party with him. These federal agents needed to know the exact place and time Hernandez would meet their suspect. Deeks knew of _his boss'_ wariness in his illegal deals. If the older man sensed a danger in the trade, he would change the details at the last minute. And if that happens, it would be impossible for the authorities to catch him in the act. That was why he understood the need for these agents to be as near Hernandez as they could be. According to Lt. Bates, they were not after the businessman/illegal dealer so there would be no effect on his own mission but Deeks was still reluctant to help them.

 _"Why can't I just text them the details of the trade? There's no need for one of them to be with me." He argued to the blonde woman sitting across from him._

 _Detective Mason rolled her blue eyes. "Like that would work. Besides, Lt. Bates is adamant to help them."_

 _Deeks frowned at the answer. "Why? He hates them."_

 _"I don't know, Deeks. Makes me wonder too."_

 _Silence filled them. He watched his handler and also good friend ate her pancakes while he sipped his coffee._

 _"This agent is going to be my wife?" He asked._

 _"Yes. You'll introduce her as Isabel, your wife of 2 years. I don't know what her real name is. Boss didn't give me. But she's dark haired with hazel eyes and will be wearing a sparkling strapless black gown. You'll recognize her. Lt. Bates said she has mismatched eyes. One is darker than the other."_

 _Deeks felt his heart skipped a beat at the description of his supposed to be wife. "Dark hair with mismatched eyes?" His_ _thought flew to a certain young girl with dark hair and mismatched eyes, a friend he met and lost 12 years ago. 'Could it be? After all this time?' Mentally, he shook his head. 'Impossible.' Time had not been so kind to him this past decade and seeing her again after everything would be next to impossible. Hope died in his chest as he resigned himself in the unlikelihood_ _of meeting Belle again._

 _"Yes. Why? Never saw yourself not marrying a blonde?" Detective Mason teased, oblivious to the turmoil going on in his head._

 _He cleared his throat and did his best to act normally. "Like a blonde woman could_ _make me settle down."_

 _A french fry thrown at him was the response he got from his friend._

Deeks left the diner bothered at the prospect that his mission could be ruin if he failed to convince _his boss_ that he was married and this _Isabel_ was his wife. _Max Gentry_ was one of Hernandez's trusted men. He worked hard for the past 6 months to gain his confidence. Any doubt from the illegal dealer would compromise his alias and would put him in danger. If there was one thing the older man hated the most, it was betrayal. Deeks had already witnessed several times what happened to the person who deceived him. All he could say was they all disappeared without a single trace.

Although a part of him was annoyed that he was forced to help a team of federal agents, Deeks was slightly looking forward to meeting his _wife._ Hearing how Mason described her, he couldn't help but wished that _Isabel_ was Belle.

Still thinking about his lost friend, Deeks fished out a jelly bracelet from his pocket and gazed at it with longing. He saw the colorful bands for sale in a store while walking on his way to the bus stop and bought one immediately. Tracing his fingers on the bracelet, he recalled how he was introduced to that bright colored trinkets years ago.

* * *

 _12 years ago_

 _"What are those?" He plopped himself next to the girl sitting on the couch._

 _Not bothering to spare him a glance, she answered. "Jelly bracelets." Her eyes were glued to the numerous colorful rubbers. Some were_ _on her wrist. The rest were on her lap. "I accompanied Roberta at the mall earlier today. I saw them and she was kind to buy 20 pcs for me. I think I'll start collecting them." She looked up to him and smiled._

 _Deeks was speechless. 'Belle's' smile was so bright it made him lost for words. He didn't know why she had that kind of effect on him. He just met her almost two weeks ago but somehow she had managed to entranced him. She was a mystery. She told his family that her name was 'Belle' but that was all they knew about her. According to the doctor who checked her up, she was suffering from amnesia. It was a unique kind given that she remembered her first name but not her surname and basically everything else. 'Belle' was a healthy teenager who was most probably in between 14-17 years old. Nobody in their small town recognized her. Despite their efforts and attempts to look for her family, no one came to pick her up._

 _Roberta, her mother, had a friend working in Social Services and was able to obtain the right to look after 'Belle' for a while. The young amnesiac girl was currently staying in their home with him and his parents. For someone who had no recollection of who she was, she was fairly optimistic that her memories would come back eventually. She had a bright attitude that Deeks admired. She was like sunshine._

 _"Sunshine." He didn't realize he mumbled the word loud enough for Belle to hear._

 _"What did you just say?" 'Belle' questioned._

 _"Uhm, nothing."_

 _She shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention back to her accessories. "By the way, Gordon called. He said to tell you that he would like to see you in his office at 3 pm."_

 _"What were his exact words, Belle?" After the event of last night, he needed to ask._

 _"Are you sure you want me to tell you?"_

 _"I grew up with him. No need to sugarcoat the big guy."_

 _"Alright. If you say so." She cleared her throat before speaking, trying her best to mimick Gordon. "Tell that useless son of mine to meet me in my office at exactly 3! He could kiss his car goodbye if he is late!"_

 _Deeks tried not to wince at his father's sentences. "I'm sorry you have to hear him say those words."_

 _'Belle's' eyes grew wide. "Are you kidding me?! Deeks, I should be the one apologizing to you. I shouldn't have repeated his message. He is mean to you. You don't deserve to be treated like that."_

 _"But I do."_

 _She looked thoughtful for a while. "Can I ask you why?"_

 _Running a hand through his hair, he replied. "I told him last night that I don't want to follow his footsteps. I don't want to be a lawyer like him. He got mad. Really mad."_

 _When he was younger, he wanted to be like his father. Gordon Brandel came from a family of lawyers. Deeks' great grandfather was a lawyer so were his grandfather and most of his uncles and aunts. Brandel and Associates was a famous law office in Seattle. It was founded decades ago by his great grandfather._

 _His father, who found himself settled in their small town, had successfully put up a branch of his own and was expecting his only son to continue the legacy and be a lawyer too. Deeks thought he wanted to be one._

 _But as he grow older, he found himself no longer as interested in taking up law in college as he was once before. Discerning it would put him in trouble if his father found out that he would be taking a different course once he graduated, Deeks kept everything to himself. Last night when Gordon asked him about the status of his college applications since he would be graduating in 6 months, he disclosed how he really felt about being a lawyer._

 _He was prepared for his father's outburst, knowing how disappointed he would be, but looking at the hatred in Gordon's eyes almost broke him._ _If Roberta wasn't there to calm her husband, he was pretty sure Gordon was going to hit him. Not that it would be the first time. But it would hurt him nonetheless._

 _In the end, it was Roberta pleading him to consider following the family's original plan. Seeing his mother's teary eyes, he acquiesced with a heavy heart. She had always been his weakness. Deeks couldn't afford to bring her pain._

 _"You really don't want to be a lawyer like your father?" 'Belle' asked._

 _"I don't."_

 _"Then what is it that you really want to do?"_

 _Her question made him think. He had been too busy not wanting to be a lawyer that he had not thought what was it that he really wanted to do. "A policeman maybe. I don't know. I'm not sure."_

 _"Hmmm..."_

 _Confused at her reaction, he asked. "What's hmmm?"_

 _She rolled her eyes. Deeks noticed that she had a habit of rolling her hazels whenever she was getting pissed._

 _"I was thinking. Since you still don't know what you want to be why not consider taking up law first? Maybe you'll find yourself interested in that career again. If not, you can take or shift to another course. At least, you'll make your parents happy while finding it in yourself what you want to be."_

 _"Your idea isn't so bad. Thanks Belle." Standing up, he ruffled her hair in fascination. For someone as young as she was, she was mature beyond her years._

 _"Not my hair!"_

 _Laughing, he stepped away before she could punch him._

* * *

 _The next day_

 _"Wow! 30 pcs!"_

 _Deeks watched with a smile on his face as the dark haired girl beamed at the content of the gift bag he brought her._

 _"I already have 20 from yesterday plus these 30. 50 pcs of jelly bracelets! Thanks Deeks! "_

 _He was surprised when she wrapped him in an embrace. "You're that happy to received my present, aren't you?"_

 _She pulled herself from him and punched his arm. "Shut up!"_

 _Hiding his feeling bereft when she removed her arms on him, Deeks smiled._

 _"Why though?"_

 _"You said you wanted to start collecting them. So I decided to buy some to add to your collection. And I want to thank you for yesterday. You know, your advice. It helped me with Gordon."_

 _"He is no longer mad at you?"_

 _"Can't say that. But I followed you. Told him that I'll be taking up law in college as a start but if I found what course I really want, I'll shift and he can't do anything about it." He explained._

 _"And he is okay with that?"_

 _"He isn't, honestly. But it's my life. I think I need to do whatever it is that will make me happy." He tugged her hair in gesture. Deeks found himself loving the way her hair felt in between his fingers. 'Belle's' tress was soft and silky._

 _"Well, I think you're right. I'm happy for you. And if you want to be a cop, although I can't imagine you to be one, I'll be happy for you too."_

* * *

The next day, he bought and gave 'Belle' 5 jelly bracelets to add to her growing collection. The last time Deeks saw her, she got 72 pcs colorful rubbers in her possession. Most of them were from him, while the rest were from his mother and the people who grew closer to her during her 6 month stay with them. He knew Gordon had also given her a couple of the trinkets.

Through the years, whenever there was a chance to buy jelly bracelets, he would get one. Deeks didn't realize that he had made a collection of those bright colored accessories himself.

Remembering 'Belle' and how she disappeared in his life without words, Deeks hoped that wherever she was, she was happy and healthy. She was a great friend to him and to his friends, and an almost daughter to his parents. Putting back the bracelet in his pocket, his mind drifted to the present. He began his preparation for the party tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"You really think you could beat me, G.?" Sam asked the shorter man with a mischievous gleam on his face.

Callen smirked. "I thought you're already used to it since this isn't going to be the first time, Sam. And it won't be the last."

Rolling her eyes, Kensi passed by her teammates and sat on her chair. "Boys." She whispered to herself, trying to hide the smile on her lips from the two bantering Senior Agents. Suddenly, her mind went to a blonde shaggy haired man with blue eyes. She sat up straight, finding herself surprised to be thinking of the undercover detective she met three days ago.

* * *

 _Three Days Ago_

 _"Deeks!" Gasping for breath, she stopped a few steps from the already leaving cop. Kensi noticed he froze when he heard her voice. Silently, she waited for him to turn around._

 _He whirled around and she wondered at the emotions brewing in his eyes as he stared at her. It was as if he was expecting her to do something and when Kensi failed to give him what he wanted, his face turned impassive. Gone was the warmth in his baby blues. For a second, she doubted if it was really there since all she could see now was indifference. She couldn't blame him, they didn't know each other. They were basically strangers._

 _Forcing herself to smile, Kensi spoke. "I just want to thank you for your help, Deeks. I hope it's okay for me to call you that. If you need any help, just give me a call." She handed him her card. "You can memorize the number and burn it after." She suggested, keeping in mind the circumstances he was in._

 _"Thanks." He responded as he took the small cardboard from her and gave it a glance before putting it in his pocket._

 _She gazed at his movements, wordlessly questioning herself at the feeling of ease whenever he was nearby._

 _"Uhm...Do you still need anything else?" He asked._

 _Her eyes followed his fingers as they ran down his hair._

 _"Kensi?"_

 _She shook her head, feeling a complete fool for gawking at him like that. Kensi didn't know why she couldn't say goodbye to him just yet. She was already taking so much of his time but she didn't want their meeting to end. Finally having the courage to leave, she took a step backward. "That's all, Deeks. It was nice meeting you." Raising her hand, she waved him goodbye and turned away._

 _She could feel his eyes on her as she paced back towards the room and to her waiting teammates. Trying her best not to look at him again, Kensi hurried her steps, getting away from him as fast as she could._

* * *

That was the last time she saw Detective Martin Deeks. She had not heard from him since then. Kensi guessed that he was still deep in his mission and every night since meeting him, she prayed for his safety. The operation he was in was dangerous. Being alone surrounded by your enemies was risky. Familiar with his kind of work, she knew that there was always a chance that you could be made and it could be the end of you.

Kensi shook her head, ridding herself of the horrible thoughts. She had to stay positive. Welcoming dreadful ideas was not healthy. Deeks was a good undercover cop, if not one of the best. Nothing bad was going to happen to him, she hoped.

She was grateful to hear Eric's whistle from the second floor of their office. Her job had always been the distraction she needed everytime she was obsessing with something. Like when she was trying hard to remember her forgotten past to the point of exhaustion. And this time, her unexplainable worry for the policeman was catching her atttention.

Kensi followed her teammates as they strode to the staircase that will bring them up in the Ops Center part of the building.

As soon as she stepped inside, she noticed Hetty's grim face. The older woman always had an inscrutable mask. It was very rare that you could make out something from her facade. But this time it was different. She looked different. Staring at her now, Kensi felt a dread growing in her.

When she gazed at the screen in her front, a pair of blue eyes greeted her. Deeks' eyes, from his picture pasted on the large monitor, was looking at her. He was in his police uniform and a U.S. Flag was in the background. It seemed that the image was taken years ago. He seemed younger and his hair was a little shorter. He was neither smiling nor frowning but Kensi could see the proud beam in his eyes.

Seeing them all in, Eric began tapping his tablet and in a second Deeks' record was also brought out.

Full Name: Martin Andrew Deeks

Date of Birth: January 8, 1979

Place of Birth: Seattle, WA

Father's Name: Gordon John Brandel

Mother's Name: Roberta Deeks Brandel

Also included in the file were details of his academic background, employment record and other related stuff about him. She barely glanced at it, her attention was solely focused on Deeks' face.

"What's going on?" Callen asked with eyes on Hetty.

Kensi glanced at their boss. "Did something happen to him?"

"Detective Deeks was scheduled to meet his handler yesterday but he didn't show up. LAPD had been trying to contact him but he isn't responding. They are afraid he is MIA." NCIS Operations Manager explained.

"He could have been made." Sam guessed.

Hetty nodded. "Yes. That could be true, Agent Sam. We were the last one who has been in contact with him."

Silence filled the room as the six of them felt the gravity of the situation. Worried glances were exchanged. Deep breaths were taken.

"Did we risk exposing him?" Callen voiced out the unspoken question in everyone's mind.

"The answer to that is no longer important, Agent Callen. Finding Detective Deeks is our priority."

* * *

"We are scheduled to meet in a park 6 am yesterday for an update on his work. I waited for him for two hours but he didn't show up."

There was no denying that the blonde woman sitting across from her was worried sick of her missing colleague. Kensi could tell from the way she was fidgeting restlessly on her chair that she cared deeply for Deeks.

They invited Deeks' handler, Detective Nicole Mason, at the boatshed for an interview. The blonde cop wasted no time and came in less than an hour.

"Detective Deeks failing to show up has never happened before?" Callen asked.

Mason shook her head. "It never happened before. I've been his handler for three years and this is the first time. We've already been through numerous undercover operations and we always found a way to remain in contact. He knows the protocol. Not showing up means he is in jeopardy. Failure to contact means danger."

Kensi was startled when the blonde woman turned to her. With pleading in her words, she spoke. "You were the last person to see him. Did you notice someone following him? Or anything remotely unfamiliar?"

She recalled the last moment she had seen Deeks, thinking that maybe she had overlooked something during their conversation. Her shoulders sagged when she came up with nothing. "I'm sorry Detective Mason, but I didn't notice anything wrong the last time I talked to him. He was about to go inside the elevator when I stopped him. We talked for a while. I thanked him for his help and that was it."

Mason rubbed her face with her hand.

"Are you close to Detective Deeks?" Sam carefully pried.

Kensi noted the blush forming on the detective's face. Judging Mason's expression, her heart strangely constricted. She could confirm how deep the woman and Deeks' connection was. They weren't just colleagues and friends. They were definitely more than that.

"Fraternization is forbidden in our line of work. We both know that rule." The cop replied. "We can't put a title on what we have but we care for each other and we are friends first and foremost. I'll be forever grateful if you can help me find him."

* * *

He felt a hand tapping his cheek. Feeling exhausted from the lack of food and rest and from the physical blows he received since yesterday, Deeks' eyes remained close.

"Wake up, pretty boy." He heard a cold voice whispered in his ear.

"5 more minutes." He whined jokingly.

A punch landed on his gut. If his hands weren't tied behind him, he was sure he would double over with pain. But from his position, sitting immobile on a steel chair with both hands bound at his back and feet strapped on the chair's legs, Deeks could only grunt.

The man laughed at his pain.

Deeks felt a hand grabbed his hair, tilting his head up forcibly, making him look at him. "I already told you, I don't know what you are talking about." He said before the man could even speak.

"You see, _Max_ , I believe you. When you said that you have no idea that your wife is an agent, I trust your words."

"Cut the crap, Peters." He gritted to Hernandez's right hand man. "We both know you never liked me. You've always been afraid I'll replace you."

Peters smirked cruelly. "That's not going to be a problem anymore, doesn't it? Hernandez wants you gone. He felt...how am I going to say this?" He paused, pretending to be thinking. "He felt...tricked and you know by now what happens to people who think they are wise enough to deceive him." He straightened up, removing his grip on his head.

Deeks watched as the man walked farther away from him. He should be afraid of the torture that he will soon received again but his concern was more for Kensi than him. From what little information he gathered while being questioned by Peters yesterday, one of Hernandez's friends recognized her as an agent when she was seen at the party three days ago. Introducing Kensi as his wife automatically ruined _Max's_ name to Hernandez.

By the businessman/illegal arms dealer's command, Deeks was taken from his cover house yesterday while he was getting ready to meet Mason. He didn't know where he was brought but he was sure it was to one of Hernandez's warehouses. He was immediately interrogated by Peters but much to the latter's displeasure, he failed getting anything from him.

Who Kensi really was and what government agency she was affiliated were questions Deeks needed to answer and Peters was just too happy to get them from him. The guy had always been jealous of him and in Hernandez's growing faith in him. This was his chance to destroy _Max_ and he'll do it without thinking twice.

Drifting his mind back to Kensi, he found a place where he could stop the pain he was currently in. Thinking of the moment he exited the room during the party and saw her waiting for him, how he couldn't help himself and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her close to him for the first time in so many years, Deeks was able to forget where he was at the moment. He found solace remembering how she felt pressed against him as they danced the way they did 12 years ago during his senior prom. He welcomed the comfort of learning that all these years 'Belle' had been alright, that she looked healthy and happy, that she seemed to have remembered who she really was. If today was going to be his end, Deeks would gladly welcome death knowing that he had finally found a part of him that he lost 12 years ago. He was finally complete.

* * *

Every hour that passed without any update on Deeks whereabout, her anxiousness grew. After talking to Detective Mason, the team went to the undercover cop's cover house and Kensi's fear doubled seeing how his placed looked like. Everything inside were trashed and there was even blood on the floor. How she wished it wasn't his but knew otherwise. Every corner of the place were turned over and destroyed, it was obvious that they were searching for something. Whatever it was, she would willingly give it to them in exchange for Deeks' safe return.

Noticing how her hands were shaking non-stop, Kensi took several deep breaths. She needed to stay calm and rational. She had to remain focused so she could do her job. Finding Deeks was her mission and it was the team's priority. They were great in what they do, they will find him.

"We got a break!" Nell's shout from upstairs jolted her from her position.

"What is it?" Kensi asked, running towards the stairs, not bothering to wait for her teammates who were exchanging confused looks behind her.

* * *

"Are we sure about this place?" Kensi muttered in her comm link while exiting her Cadillac though looking at the dilapidated warehouse before her, she had a feeling they were in the right place.

"I am pretty sure, Kensi. That is the only warehouse from Hernandez's list of properties that's categorized as abandoned yet its electric consumption doesn't say so." Eric explained.

She was grateful to the wonder twins of Ops for pulling out everything in the businessman's file and analyzing them critically. They came up with a list of the man's estates. Digging more deeply, Eric found an oddity in one of them. The shed was declared deserted but when they reviewed the record, Hernandez's company had been paying its electric bill for some time now.

Trusting the entire team's guts, they quickly made a plan. The three field agents prepared themselves to check the place while Hetty, Eric and Nell remained in OSP to monitor the rescue. Callen rode with Sam in his black Challenger while she took her silver Cadillac. Armed with guns and comm links, they arrived at the address in fifteen minutes. Kensi reached the location first with the two men following her shortly. She drove faster than usual, eager to find Deeks the soonest.

She saw Callen giving her a curt nod, wordlessly telling her to move on with their plan. Kensi pulled her gun and released its safety lock before striding towards the left side of the building. Sam moved to the opposite side while Callen walked to the front door.

* * *

His head lolled to the side when Peters' fist connected to his jaw. Even without looking in the mirror, Deeks knew his face was bloodied and bruised. His left eye had already shut from the hits it received. The inside of his mouth tasted metallic from the blood his split lips had shed.

"Still keeping your mouth shut, huh? How long before you start telling me what I want to hear, _Gentry?_ "

Things were not looking good for him, he deduced. Peters wasn't known for his patience. It was only a matter of time before he breaks his fingers individually. The man had already inflicted damage to him and he wasn't even halfway through. Deeks chose to ignore the pain his bruised ribs were causing him and opted to think of _her._

A part of him regretted the way he acted the last time he talked to Kensi. He now realized how callous he appeared to be. When she called him 'Deeks', he was brought back to the past, to the most joyous 6 months of his life. Despite how flawed their situations during that time were, with his conflict with his father and her with no recollection of her life, they were happy. The months he spent with the amnesiac Kensi had not always been rainbows and roses. But for him, all was perfect.

That was why when he turned and looked at her in the present and when it was obvious that she didn't recognize him, he was hurt and angry. Hurt that she just left 12 years ago without saying goodbye to him. Angry that when she saw him again, she had no idea who he was and who she had been in his life. But Deeks knew he couldn't show her how he truly felt. Not in their current circumstances. Not when she was clueless about him. So he chose to be indifferent. It wasn't hard, he was used in pretending. It had been a mean of his survival through the years.

He pictured Kensi's smile.

'How can a single smile from her bring him sunshine in his darkest moment?'

'How can one beam soothe his agony?'

He was tired. His face and body were in pain. He didn't know how much distress he could bear.

* * *

After quietly picking the lock of the door at the rear side of the warehouse, Kensi hastily went in.

"I'm in." She reported in hush. She heard Sam and Callen's voices telling them that they, too, just entered. Roaming her eyes around, she surveyed the expanse of the place. She noted several closed doors on both side of the premises. No movement was accounted as she started pacing towards them. Her breathing was fast, her adrenaline was high as she opened each and every room, picking the lock as effectively as she could if necessary. But she didn't find him. There was not a single sign of Deeks.

She met both of her teammates halfway through. They shook their heads in negative, reading the question in her eyes.

"He is not here, Eric." Callen notified the Ops Center.

"That's impossible." Kensi heard the eyeglassed tech genius mumbled.

"Then where is he?" Sam asked.

The three agents waited silently as Eric and Nell scoured their files.

"There's a basement!" There was a thrill in Nell's voice that made Kensi's hope rise. "You have to find the trap door on the right side of the room. That's the opening for the basement."

"Okay." Kensi replied.

With quick steps, they strode to the right side and tried to locate the trap door. It was Sam who found it. He opened the door as soundlessly as possible. A staircase welcomed them and wasting no time, Sam stepped on it and paced towards the bottom. Kensi followed him next. They reached the basement after a few steps. The pathway leading to a closed door in the end was dark and narrow but they maneuvered with practiced efficiency.

They were almost at the door when they heard a shout that halted them.

Kensi's blood ran cold, recognizing Deeks' pain-filled scream.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

Thank you for your reviews/favorites/follows. I'm glad you're enjoying this story. :)


	5. Chapter 5

_12 Years Ago_

 _"Deeks!"_

 _He let out a sigh before stopping and_ _looking over his shoulder to acknowledge the girl who called his name. "Oh, hey."_

 _Liza, his redhead on-again-off-again girlfriend, doning her cheerleading uniform, stepped in front of him. "I don't know if you heard but James is throwing a party at his house tonight. How about you come pick me up at my place so we can go together?"_

 _Deeks already knew that James Leers' parents were scheduled to leave this afternoon for a 3-day business conference in New York and by default, a party was sure to spring at their house as soon as Mr. and Mrs. Leers' airplane took off. Being a member of the high school football team, James was popular and his parties had always been a riot. Deeks was certain that tonight was going to be as fun as the last time with almost all of the entire Senior Year population in attendance and the abundance of beer and alcoholic punch that were sure to flood the place. But he didn't think he was up to a night of partying and drinking despite how appealing the possibility of spending it with Liza._

 _Seeing the reluctance on his face, she brought herself almost pressed against him and flirtatiously pouted. Raising her hand, she ran it on his upper arm and grazed his shirt-covered skin lightly with her fingers. "C'mon Deeks. Can we forget our fight last night? It isn't worth it if you'll think about it."_

 _Catching her ex-boyfriend dropping her off at her house last night wasn't worth fighting about? Deeks was confident a headache was bound to come up if he was even going to try to answer that._

 _Oblivious to his growing frustration, Liza added, "_ _I'll be happy to spend my entire time_ _tonight with you, Deeks. And maybe_ _we can find something more fun to do at the party." Her last words were spoken barely a whisper in his ear. And he was aware that she knew its effect on him._

 _He let out an exhale. He knew his relationship with Liza was never serious. He didn't love her. And he was positive that she didn't love him too. They were just two people having fun together at the moment._ _When they started going out a month ago, Deeks was thrilled. Liza was one of the pretty girls in school, with her red hair and doe-like brown eyes. She was a bit of a snob, he noticed but chose to ignore. Since he didn't think_ _he was into their relationship for the long haul, he opted to overlook her not so good traits._

 _He cleared his throat, trying to get his voice back. "Fine." He acquiesced, mentally slapping himself for thinking like a 17 year old red-blooded male, in which he actually was. "_ _What time do I have to pick you up?"_

 _The redhead cheerleader's face brightened at his response. "I'll be ready at 7." Which meant 8 based on the countless times he had to wait for her for an hour in their living room. Glancing at her wristwatch, she gasped. "Oh shoot! I'm late for the practice. Gotta go, Deeks. See you tonight." She said before planting a kiss on his cheek._

 _Watching her leave, he didn't realize Ray was already beside him plastering a mocking smile._

 _"So you and Liza again huh? Thought you two broke up last night." His friend since kindergarten snooped._

 _Deeks only shrugged his shoulders in reply. "Leers? Tonight?"_

 _"You know I'll be there. Besides, I heard Heidi is coming." Ray was talking about his long time crush. Ironically, Heidi was Liza's best friend._

 _"She's with Darwin right?"_

 _"No, they're done. The poor lady finally got tired of all his shits." Happiness was evident in the long haired's words._

 _They talked some more on their way to the school parking lot and parted when they reached their respective cars._

* * *

 _He was running late. It was already 8:30 in the evening and he still had a 5-minute drive before making it to the Leers. Picking Liza up was no longer his task since apparently they were broken up. She called him on the phone, yelled at him for being late since it was 7:05 and he wasn't in her house and before he knew it, she was ending things with him. His now ex-girlfriend stated that this time, their break up was final. It seemed that she was tired of him and his shortcomings. Honestly, Deeks couldn't care less._

 _When he was a block away from James' house, he decided to_ _pull over at a convenience store to buy some cigarettes. He wasn't a smoker but he did sniff one to two sticks occasionally. Weighing in the end of his relationship with Liza, he resolved that the break up could be classified as an occasion thus his smoking was justified._

 _Deeks was standing next to his car, puffing his second stick, when his gaze caught someone across the street. There was a person standing on wobbly legs, slowly striding to where he was. He couldn't make out if the said person was a he or a she because the area opposite him was dark and the hood of his/her black jacket was upped, covering almost half of his face. Deeks deduced that the figure was a man judging from his clothes. And from what he could discern from his position, the person was having a hard time crossing the street. He looked unstable and it seemed that every step he was taking was draining what was left of his energy._

 _"Hey!" He shouted, calling his attention._

 _The figure glanced at him._

 _"Are you alright?!"_

 _As if to answer him, the man fainted right in the middle of the two-lane street._

 _"Oh shit!" Deeks didn't know how he pulled it but he somehow abled to put his cigarette out and ran towards the unconscious man all in less than 5 seconds._

* * *

 _"This is going to be your room, Belle." There was excitement in Roberta's voice that surprised him as he followed the two women when they entered the empty bedroom next to his._

 _Deeks knew of his mother's fondness in girls, having a miscarriage 13 weeks into her second pregnancy, but was still astounded by her treatment to the girl he rescued 2 nights ago. Roberta always believed that the child she carried for 3 months but sadly lost was supposed to be a girl. And if his younger sister lived, he assumed that she was the same age as 'Belle'._

 _He watched as the dark haired teenager, they now knew as 'Belle', roamed her eyes around. There was a look of awe on her face when her sight caught the huge bed at the center. She sat at the edge of it and ran her hand on the soft mattress._

 _"I'm going to sleep in here?" She asked in disbelief._

 _Roberta laughed at her expression. "Yes. You'll be staying with us for the mean time, Belle. Until we find your parents or your memories are back, we'll take care of you."_

 _"B-But why?"_

 _As though hurt, the older woman asked. "Y-You don't want to be here?"_

 _Belle shook her head instantly. "No, it's not like that, Mrs. Brandel. I'm sorry I_ _offended you. I didn't mean it that way. I... I'm just wondering why are you helping me? You don't know me. I don't even know me. I could be a serial killer or a thief. I am a stranger. I don't know a lot of people who would do what you've been doing for me. You're kind to me." When she glanced at him and smiled, Deeks was lost. "You're all kind to me."_

 _Roberta smiled fondly. She covered both Belle's hands with hers. "I can tell from the first time I saw you that you are a good kid, Belle. And I'm glad that my son found you. I can't imagine you out there in the street all on your own without your memories for days. That'd been terrible. You are very much welcome in our home. Me, my husband and my son are happy to help you. And please stop calling me Mrs. Brandel, that's my mother-in-law. Just Roberta."_

 _Deeks saw the younger girl's eyes started to water at his mother's words._

 _"T-Thank you Mrs-uhm, R-Roberta." She softly mumbled, tears started pouring down her face. "You don't know how grateful I am to you and to your entire family for everything. Thank you. It's been days and I still can't recall not even a single thing, not even my last name. I-I don't know if... what if-"_

 _Roberta was quick to brush her tears away. Tenderly holding both of Belle's cheeks, the older woman locked her eyes on hers. "Don't force yourself to remember anything. Your memories will come back eventually, that's what the doctor said, right?" When Belle nodded, she continued. "You've been through a lot these past days. You are exhausted and need rest. Focus on getting yourself physically better first. Whatever happens, we'll help you. We'll be here, Belle. You no longer have to do everything alone."_

 _The two women hugged each other before him and Deeks was suddenly feeling left out. Without making any noise, he left the room and proceeded to enter his own._

* * *

 _Once inside the comfort of his own room, he found himself sitting on his desk chair and drawing deep breaths, trying to rid the uneasiness that sprouted in him after seeing Belle's tears. It was as if a hand grabbed his heart and squeezed it hard._

 _It had been 2 nights since he witnessed her collapse on the street. He hated to admit but that was the scariest moment he had been in. Deeks recalled how he almost flew towards the fallen figure and got the second shock of the night when the hooded man he thought she was was in fact a girl. The hood of her jacket fell from its place and her long dark hair was revealed. When he touched her in his attempt to wake her up, his fingers felt the warmth of her skin. She was burning with fever._

 _Without a second thought, Deeks gingerly carried the teenager and crossed the street, bringing her inside his car. He drove her to the hospital, sensing her urgent need of medical care. The tires of his car screeched when he abruptly stopped at the entrance of the emergency room. Deeks helplessly watched as the nurses did their job, putting the unconscious girl on a stretcher before rushing her inside._

 _He called his parents and told them where he was. Minutes later, he saw Gordon and Roberta dashing inside. He felt guilty, seeing the worried look on both of their faces. Deeks quickly explained what happened, where he was about to go and how he saved the girl. Too involved in the event, he had forgotten that he was hiding his smoking to his parents. He earned two weekends of grounding after Gordon smelled the stench of smoke in his breath. He dismissed_ _the punishment, not really caring about it at the moment. His mind was at the younger girl who was currently being treated inside the emergency room._

* * *

 _His musing was disturbed by a light knock on the door followed by Roberta's voice calling him._

 _"It's open." He replied._

 _His brow furrowed when his mother came in and silently gazed at him._

 _"What?" Deeks asked, starting to get conscious._

 _She sat at the edge of his bed. "She'll be fine."_

 _Already knew who she was talking about, he remained silent._

 _"She's in a delicate condition right now but I believe she'll be alright. I can tell that she's a brave girl. A fighter. Belle will survive this, son."_

 _"Why are you telling me this?"_

 _Roberta smiled affectionately. "Because you're worried for her." He was about to argue that she was wrong but she beat him to it. "Deny it all you want but your eyes won't lie. You have the same eyes as your father. It's a trademark of a Brandel. They are revealing, showing your true emotion no matter how much you try to hide it." She looked at him. "And your eyes tell me that you were scared. That night when you first saw Belle, you were terrified. You felt weak for not being quick enough to catch her before she hit the ground."_

 _His mother's words was starting to affect him. His breath turned ragged._

 _She reached for his hand and held it. "But you saved her, son. You brought her to the hospital. You rescued her. I don't want to think what would have happened if you weren't there. And Belle is very grateful to you. You are her guardian angel."_

 _"I-I am?" Deeks asked, wide-eyed._

 _"Yes. She told me that. She remembered waking up the first time at the hospital and seeing you staring at her. She said she thought she died and went to heaven because there was a beautiful angel looking at her."_

 _Roberta chuckled seeing his face reddened._

 _"Mom..."_

 _Calming herself, she stood up. "What you did that night was heroic, Marty. As your mom, I couldn't be more proud of you. I want you to know that." With that, she kissed him on the cheek and exited the room, leaving him alone in his thoughts._

 _'Me? An angel?' Deeks recalled the moment she opened her eyes for the first time since she fainted._

* * *

 _4 hours. It had been 4 hours from the time she was rushed to the hospital. It was past midnight by now and she still hadn't woken up yet. The doctor assured him that she was recovering finely. Her fever had dropped down which was a good sign, Deeks was told. Her fainting was due to fatigue and dehydration. Other than that finding, she was healthy. Her fall on the cemented ground didn't cause any damage on her skull based on the result of her laboratories. The doctor ordered her confinement until her fever died down and her body had recovered from exhaustion. What they_ _were waiting for was for her to gain consciousness so that she could give her name._

 _Aside from some change the nurses found in the girl's jeans pocket, there was nothing that could give them clue as to who she was. She wasn't carrying a bag nor a wallet, not even a single identification card in her possession. Nothing. She was a Jane Doe._

 _Proper authorities were called and Gordon had taken care of any legalities that could help the girl. Deeks had given his statement, repeating the event of the night the way he told his parents. Roberta had offered the family's_ _hands in helping the girl, who appeared to be a minor, with the situation._

 _Their town was a small one with almost 1,400 in population and Deeks' family, the Brandels, was one of the well-known in the area with his father owning a law firm and his mother with her bakeshop that were both situated right at the_ _town proper. Roughly everyone in Redford, Washington had been a client of either Gordon or Roberta_ _and in_ _some instances, of both of them. Being known as trustworthy, the policemen gratefully welcomed his mother's proposal._

 _Deeks spotted a movement on the bed. He came closer to the prone form of the girl and saw her starting to wake up. Bit by bit, her eyes blinked open. Unique. That was the only word he could think of that would perfectly describe the pair of hazel eyes that were staring back at him. They were different, nothing he had ever seen before. A little bit disoriented, she looked at her._

 _"H-Hi." Deeks wished that his mother had not left him alone, watching over their patient, to grab some things she thought the younger girl would need when she wakes up._

 _"I-I'm Belle..." Her voice was throaty but he heard her clear._ _She smiled a little before closing her eyes once more._

 _He whispered her name. 'Belle.'_

* * *

"Belle..."

Kensi was lost in her thinking that she didn't notice Callen and Sam entered the office.

"Who's Belle?" Their team leader suddenly asked, jolting her from her chair. He was already sitting on his chair next to hers.

Holding her chest in shock, she exclaimed. "Callen! My God! You scared me! Can you be more sneaky next time?!" Sarcasm was dripping in her voice.

"Just doing my best, Kens." He replied with his famous smirk.

Kensi rolled her eyes.

"So you still don't know who she is, Kensi?" Sam asked from his desk across them. "We heard you mumbled."

Her shoulders fell, her heart ached. "No. I haven't seen her at the hospital last night. She seems to be important to him though."

The room fell silent, their faces were somber as the scene from last night entered their minds.

* * *

 _Hearing Deeks' agonizing yell, Sam turned to her and signaled her that he would bust the door open. Kensi nodded, readying her weapon._

 _In seconds, the room was opened and they came bursting in. Kensi recognized the missing cop sitting at the center. His hands were_ _splayed with fingers laid out_ _on a table in his front. A man in a suit was holding the little finger of Deeks' left hand. It was clearly broken, she noted._

 _Surprised at their appearance, the man hadn't been able to draw his gun before she shot him twice on the chest while Sam took care of his two minions. Deeks' captors were all dead not long after. Kensi ran towards the wounded cop and her chest tightened at the sight._

 _"Deeks," She called, struggling to catch his attention._

 _He was confused but he was trying to look at her._

 _Kensi and Sam quickly tried to remove_ _the ties that bound his hands and feet while Callen, who stayed upstairs to make sure that nobody was coming for them from outside, reported to Hetty that Deeks was found and ordered an ambulance for the beaten cop._

 _"B-Belle?"_

 _Still in the process of unbinding his hands, Kensi glanced at the undercover detective. He was delirious from the pain, she assumed, mistaking her from someone else._

 _"Belle..." He called for her again._

 _"Deeks, it's Kensi from NCIS. Do you remember me?" She softly asked._

 _"Belle..."_

 _"An ambulance will arrive here shortly and you will be taken to the hospital, Detective Deeks. For the mean time, we'll remedy your broken finger." Sam, who was knowledgeable in first aid treatments, was fast to tap Deeks' injured finger to his next to keep it immobilized._

 _While her teammate was busy doing his treatment, she focused herself on checking Deeks for other injuries, opting to ignore his repeated whispers of the name Belle. Whoever she was, Kensi was sure that the woman was vital to him. He was crying for her, calling her name in pain._

 _Keeping her mind at the task, she examined his form._ _Torture was palpable on his body. He was badly beaten, his one eye had shut and his face and upper frame were covered in bruises. It was clear that the people who tormented him_ _wanted him broken._ _Unknowingly, Kensi's jaw clenched thinking of how he was treated. Her only consolation was aside from one broken finger, she didn't see any other injury on him. But the only thing that could cease her worry was if Deeks was checked out by a doctor and treated properly at the hospital._

 _Minutes later, medical officers were rushing the detective in an ambulance towards the hospital with Kensi on his side. Callen and Sam were left to process the crime scene._

* * *

"Any news on him?" Sam quietly asked.

Kensi shook her head no. She left the hospital when Detective Mason arrived, after hearing from Hetty that her friend was found. The blonde detective was thankful to them for finding Deeks. Sitting together in the waiting room, Kensi felt uneasy that she was there. She wasn't close to the cop. They weren't even friends and had only met 3 days ago. Despite wanting to hear from the doctor about Deeks' condition, she pulled herself up, bid goodbye to Mason and went back to OSP to finish her paperwork.

"Detective Deeks is doing alright given his situation." Hetty uttered. She entered the bullpen with Eric and Nell following her. "His broken finger will heal in a month. Sam's first aid really helped. Apart from his bruises, no other injuries was reported based on his X-ray and laboratories. Mr. Deeks will be staying at the hospital for another two days to recover."

Relieved to hear the good news, Kensi said. "That's great, Hetty."

"Yes, that's the great news, Agent Blye."

Callen frowned, sensing more. "What's the bad one?"

The five agents waited while Hetty paused to take a deep breath. "It seems that what sadly happened to Mr. Deeks is NCIS related. He had given his statement last night and it appears that Hernandez's men were questioning him about you, Agent Blye."

Kensi felt all eyes on her as she stiffened on her chair.

* * *

Author's Note:

Once again, thank you to those who are enjoying this story so far.

* Redford, Washington isn't a real town. I made it up.

* I'm not from the US so I don't know the proper protocol on homeless minor. I did my research but I only got so much from Google. Please find it in yourselves to overlook my mistakes in this story.

Thank you! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Are you sure about it, Deeks?" Mason asked.

"Yes. It has been entering my mind even before I went under for this last job though I never thought I'd pursue." He answered.

The blonde woman, sitting on a chair next to his bed and watching a rerun of her favorite TV show, smiled softly. "I'm sure Boss will give you all the time you'll need. You know, because he's sorry for compromising your mission."

"It isn't Bates' fault. And not the NCIS' too, Nic."

Puzzled by his response, she stared at him wide-eyed. "Seriously?!"

"What?" Deeks' brow knitted.

She was indignant. "You're not blaming them? Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You're blue and purple, Deeks. You just got your eye barely open today. And your pinky is broken."

"I know what happened to me."

"Then why are you acting like you're alright with it? No offense, Deeks, but your reaction is absurd. You have nothing bad to say against those agents which is unusual given that you were almost killed. I mean, I'm grateful for their help, I really am. They found you and saved you in time yesterday. But we both know that if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have to be in this room right now." Mason's blue eyes were glued to his, scrutinizing him. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

Curiosity was written all over her face and he knew she needed an explanation but Deeks didn't feel telling her all about it. At least not in that moment. So he lied. "Nothing happened, Nic. They did their job. I did mine. It was unfortunate that my mission failed but we know the risk. There's always a risk."

"It isn't fair that all your hard work for 6 months ended up like this."

Deeks exhaled. "Do you know what's one of the things I've learned when I was 18? Life's never fair."

* * *

 _"Poor girl. She doesn't deserve this. This is unfair."_ _Roberta mumbled, teary-eyed. Her cup of coffee in hand was neglected and certainly cold by now._

 _'Yes, it really is unfair.' Deeks quietly thought._

 _"Can we do something to help her, Gordon?" She looked at her husband, who was sitting across from her sipping his own drink, with pleading eyes._

 _Deeks watched his father put his cup down and contemplated for a minute before reaching out to hold his mother's free hand, comforting her_ _._

 _They were inside the hospital cafeteria talking about the condition of the girl he rescued last night. Belle had woken up for the second time earlier that morning. He wasn't in the room, having asked by Roberta to buy breakfast. When he returned, he saw his parents talking to a doctor in the hallway._

 _After Belle answered the doctor's series of questions, they learned that she was suffering from amnesia. Her replies explained that she had been wandering the streets for days with no recollection of her identity. All she can remember was her first name was Belle and four days ago, she got off of a bus at a terminal in Redford's neighboring town. She had no idea where she was from or where she was supposed to go. She couldn't recall if she was an orphan or if she ran away from home._

 _Was she involved in an accident? What caused her to lose her memories? They all have numbers of questions for her but Dr. Walsh, Belle's psychiatrist, warned them not to overwhelm his patient. The doctor was convinced that her recollections would come back. He just couldn't give them an exact time and day when or process on how it would happen._

 _Deducing by her_ _physical look, Dr. Walsh believed Belle to be a minor. Deeks quietly agreed to that._ _She was tiny, almost a foot shorter than his 5'11" height. But she appeared to be athletic like she exercised. Her shoulder length dark-brown-almost-black hair looked soft and silky and her olive skin was clear and healthy-looking. No evidence of abuse was found on her body. The clothes she was wearing that night were soiled but not tattered. She even had coins in her pocket. Taking note of these clues, Deeks wanted to guess that she hadn't been in the street for long._

 _Minor. Homeless. Living in the street. He grimaced thinking of those words and relating them to 'Belle'._

 _Some people would consider him insensitive. Question his teachers, they will answer how terrible of a student he was, cheating on quizzes and exams, cutting classes. Ask his ex-girlfriends and they will tell you he was a borderline brute, a cruel person who broke their hearts. Talk to his enemies and he will be described as an asshole, a spoiled brat who, if were not for his lawyer father and his kindhearted saint-like mother, had long been in jail. Deeks would agree. He wasn't a good person. He cheated to pass and left school right in the middle of the day. He left his girlfriends broken-hearted, careless with their feelings. He destroyed and fought his foes and rivals, to a point where he was nearly arrested._

 _But something changed in him the night he first saw Belle. Yes, he got scared. It frightened him to witness a stranger fell the way she did. Without him being there, she could have fainted and got hit by a car. Deeks couldn't imagine how different the outcome would be if he was able to pick Liza up at her home at the scheduled time or if he didn't stop by at the convenience store that exact moment._

 _He didn't believe in destiny. For him, we create our own fate by the choices we make. But somehow after meeting Belle, he wanted to believe that he was intended to be there that night. It was though he was meant to rescue her. And after saving her, he couldn't help but felt partly responsible for her. Now knowing she had amnesia, Deeks wanted to make sure she'd be alright._

 _"I'll see what I can do. Since Belle_ _is assumed to be a minor, she'll need a place to stay after she's released tomorrow. We can let her stay with us for a while." Gordon replied._

 _Roberta's eyes lit up, her somber attitude gone. "She needs to stay with us! I can ask my friend, Vivian. She works for Child Protection Services. She can help me."_

 _Gordon nodded. "Do that. I'll prepare all the necessary documents needed first thing Monday morning. For the mean time, I'll talk to Sheriff Gonzales if he can allow us to bring Belle home."_

 _"Why not? It's not like she has a house to stay at." His mother questioned with a frown._

 _Talking like a lawyer, his father briefly explained. "You know there are rules, Roberta. We have to be sure that what we're doing is legal and under the law."_

 _His mother was silenced by Gordon's answer._

 _Deeks faked a cough that brought his parents' attention to him. "Uhm, will it be alright if I see her?"_

 _Gordon scowled, still obviously angry at him for smoking, while Roberta smiled, pleased at his initiative. He ignored his father and turned to his mother._

 _"Of course, son." She replied. "By the way, are you okay with having Belle at home with us?"_

 _"I'm fine with it, mom." Deeks couldn't think of any better place for the dark haired girl to spend recovering completely_ _but their home._

* * *

 _"It's you."_

 _Deeks halted at the doorway when he heard her soft voice. His brow furrowed at her words._

 _'Belle' smiled. "Last night_ _when I opened my eyes, I saw you looking at me. But I was too tired, I couldn't keep myself awake. When I woke up again a while ago, you're gone. I thought it was just a dream, that you're not real. But here you are. It's really you."_

 _'She could talk.' Deeks noticed her babbling._

 _"I'm Belle, by the way."_

 _"You already told me your name last night."_

 _She didn't look surprised at his comment. "I already did, did I? It's the only thing I can remember so every chance I get, I_ _tell people my name. Just in case I also lost that one memory, they'll know who I am or at least what to call me."_

 _Deeks wanted to feel sorry for the girl sitting on the bed, beaming at him innocently. But seeing her with that smile of hers, he couldn't. She was aware of her condition but she wasn't brooding._

 _Realizing he still hadn't introduce himself yet, he walked towards her and held his hand out. "I'm Martin Brandel. My parents call me Marty. My friends call me Deeks."_

 _'Belle' chuckled, shaking his hand. "You have plenty of names. How am I supposed to call you?"_

 _Deeks shrugged his shoulders. "It's all up to you."_

 _"Are we going to be friends?"_

 _"I'm pretty sure we're on our way to being friends, Belle. And we kind of have to if things went according to my mother's plan." He said._

 _"Then I'm going to call you Deeks. And since we're almost friends now, you have to tell me the story behind your name soon. Wait," Belle suddenly paused. "What do you mean 'with your mother's plan'? Wait again,"_

 _He watched as comprehension dawned on her._

 _"Your mother is Mrs. Brandel? She was here a while ago. We got to talk and she told me she has a son. He's the one who brought me here." Her eyes widened, a finger pointing at him. "You! It was you_ _from across the street! It was you I saw outside that store! I was dizzy that time but I think I heard your voice. You were asking if I'm alright but I didn't get to answer you. I think I passed out. I can't remember anything after that. Well I can't remember pretty much anything before that too. You saved me. Thank you, Deeks."_

 _He felt heat spreading his face, seeing her grateful look. "I'm just glad that I was there."_

 _"Yeah, me too." She softly whispered._

* * *

A knock brought Deeks back to the present. It was followed by the gentle sound of the door being opened. A second later, a short blonde haired man, he immediately recognized as Agent Callen, peaked through the doorway.

"May we come in?" The agent asked, smiling.

The word 'we' piqued his interest. Deeks was hoping _she_ was with him. With a welcoming smile, he replied. "Come in, Agent Callen."

His eyes focused on the door as one by one, a team of federal agents entered the room. Walking in after Callen was another man he knew as Sam, followed by _her_. Two people, a man and a woman, Deeks didn't recognize came in next. Having 6 adult visitors inside made his moderate-sized hospital room a little crowded.

He barely noticed Mason sat up and exchanged pleasantries to the five newcomers. His attention was glued to _her._ She was looking at him morosely, only with a small smile on her lips. Deeks had an idea why. Last night, he had given his statement to the investigators. He was aware his testimony would involve NCIS. From what he could perceive, they already knew it. She already knew it. Her look told him so.

"For you, Detective Deeks." Callen handed out the fruit basket he was carrying. "From all of us."

"Thanks, Agent Callen."

Since he was still having a hard time moving, Mason took the basket for him and placed it on the bedside table.

"You've already met Agents Sam and Kensi." Callen started.

Deeks traded hellos and handshakes with the two, holding himself back from calling Kensi 'Belle'. He should get used to the reality that her name now was Kensi and not 'Belle'.

'Did she change it when she left them? If yes, why? If no, why did she give us the name 'Belle' to call her?' Those were just some of the questions he didn't think he'll have answers because the person who can explain everything to him wasn't aware that once, 12 years ago, he existed in her life. He was now a stranger to her. A man she just met. A man who was just working on the same side as hers.

"This is Agent Eric Beal, our Technical Operator and Agent Nell Jones, the team's Intelligence Analyst." Unaware of his thoughts, Callen continued, introducing his last two companions.

Like he did with the first two, Deeks greeted them.

"Hetty Lange, our Operations Manager, sadly couldn't be here today but she's sending her get well soon." The team leader added.

Deeks had heard of Hetty several times before. She was a legend. A woman full of mysteries. Rumor has it that she had unparalleled connections throughout the intelligence and defense communities. Having her as a boss would be thrilling, he presumed.

"Please thank her for me." He then remembered to formally introduce Mason to them. "You already met my handler and good friend, Detective Nicole Mason." Mason had given him the recap of the events that happened after he was reported missing. She even disclosed that they immediately sensed their closeness and was questioned about it.

He and Mason met each other 3 years ago when she was assigned to handle the management of his undercover work. He instantly took a liking for her. She was fun and easy to be with. Not long after, they explored their growing friendship more. They both knew the rules and what the repercussions would be if they broke them so they hid what they had. And since they didn't want to complicate things, they never put a title on their relationship and remained just friends.

For him, Mason was a great friend that he cared deeply for. Did Deeks want them to be more? He had thought about it not just once but couldn't find the right answer. They complemented each other at work and even did undercover missions as a couple with positive results. Without a doubt, he'd risk his life for her. But he couldn't tell if he was willing to risk his heart for 'them'.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Deeks." Kensi started. While in her car driving her way to him, she had practiced this scenario many times. She would apologize and take the blame to what happened to him, even if her teammates disagreed with her plan. But staring at him now, despite how he appeared to be a lot better than last night in the basement, her rehearsed words seemed to be lost.

It was a good thing that there were only the two of them now with her teammates and Mason leaving the room minutes ago. She could tell he was shocked to see her stayed but didn't comment. For that, she was grateful.

Sitting on the chair Mason vacated, she went on. "Despite what my teammates wanted me to think, I still feel liable to what happened. I was made and you were punished for it. We're lucky we have Eric and Nell with us. They figured your location just in time. But still, you were hurt. I never meant for any of this to happen. Again, I'm sorry Deeks."

"Can you repeat it?"

Kensi's brow knitted, confused. "Huh? You want me to repeat everything I said?"

He was quick to shake his head no. She noticed the pink tint blossoming his cheeks as he ran his fingers through his black mane. "No, j-just my name. Please say it again, K-Kensi."

"Oh, o-okay." She concurred. "Deeks." Weird at it seemed, she liked the way his name ran through her lips.

Again, there was this strange yet familiar feeling she sensed everytime he was near. It was as if a connection was made the first moment they met. Or was it there all this time? Was the inevitable pull Kensi was having with him not really new?

Her mind was whirling with emotions, she didn't notice Deeks' reaction when she repeated his name.

"Thank you." He said, coughing a little. "It's alright, Kensi. Nobody liked what happened. There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm going to be okay. I'll be released tomorrow and will be taking a leave for a while."

Before she could help herself, she asked. "When will you be back? Where will you go?"

Deeks smiled. "Don't worry, I'll be back."

Kensi rolled her eyes, trying to hide her blush at his obvious teasing.

"It'll only be for 2 weeks, 4 at max. And it's not like I'm going somewhere, I'll just be at my house and spend my time with my dog." He resumed.

She smiled, enjoying how comfortable it felt talking to him. "You have a dog?"

"I had him since he was a puppy. He is old now, almost 12. His name is Monty. It's apparently a French word for-"

"Baby." She finished his sentence.

Staring at each other, both had a surprised looked on their faces.

"Y-You remember?" Deeks instantly asked. Before she could question what was he talking about, he retracted. "I-I mean, how did you know? There are only few who knows about its meaning."

Kensi shook her head. Shocked that she was knowledgeable about that trivia, she figured out it had something to with her forgotten life. It already happened before. It was as if she knew random things but couldn't discern how or when she did learn about them.

"I-I like to read." She answered. "I can't exactly recall but it seems I came across that word some time in the past."

"A f-friend of mine from years ago have been practicing her French when puppy Monty came into our lives. She took the liberty of naming him and spent days of relentless searching for the perfect name. Imagine my surprise when after 5 tortuous days she came up with the word 'Monty'?!" He told her, laughing at the end.

Deeks' snicker to his story was infectious and she couldn't help but joined him chuckling. It was the first time she had heard him laughed and she liked the sound. Kensi observed the way he narrated his story and talked about his friend. There was evident tenderness in his blue eyes and his smile was bright. It didn't take long for her to connect the dots.

"Your friend... is her name Belle?" She wanted to beat herself for being insensitive, watching his face fell at her mention of the famous woman. Kensi didn't know what made her inquire about _her_ that callously. She should discern better than ask about his friend like that.

It was too late now, his eyes dimmed and his smile faded.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 _"Dad..." She waited, shifting her right foot forward and backward._

 _Seconds after, his father's bedroom door opened and a tall dark haired man emerged from it. He looked down at her and smiled._

 _5 year old Kensi pouted. "I can't sleep."_

 _Her father, Donald, squatted in front of her. "Do you want me to read you a story?"_

 _She nodded fervently, clutching her teddy bear closer to her chest._

 _He chuckled seeing her reaction. "Alright." Standing up, he carried her in his arms and brought her back to her room._

 _Once inside, Donald gently put her down on the bed and laid beside her. Finding a comfortable position, he turned to Kensi. "What story would you like me to read, Princess?" He asked, calling her by his nickname for her._

 _"Can you read me the same one from last night, Dad?"_

 _"Of course, sweetie."_ _His father grabbed a book on the bedside table._

 _"Start at the beginning again please."_

 _"Okay." He opened the book and began reading the first page._

 _"Once upon a time, an Enchantress turned a handsome prince into a terrible beast when she discovered his selfishness. She left behind an enchanted rose. If the prince did not find true love before the last rose petal fell, he would remain a beast forever."_

 _His father's voice was soft and it started to lull Kensi to sleep._

 _"In a village nearby, Belle lived with her father. More than anything, Belle wanted an adventure like those she read about in her beloved books. Gaston wanted to marry Belle, but she refused. Belle thought he was a beastly bore, and Gaston didn't understand why she was always reading. "It's not right for a woman to read," he said." Donald paused and glanced at his daughter, noticing how her eyes were almost closed now._

 _Knowing she was still listening, he opted to continue. "Belle's father, Maurice, was an inventor. His latest invention was an automatic woodchopper, which he was taking to a contest at the county fair. "You'll win first prize!" Belle declared._ _On his way to the fair, Maurice got lost in the woods. A pack of wolves chased him to the gates of a nearby castle._ _Not sure what he would find inside, Maurice entered the castle grounds cautiously._ _Maurice could never have imagined the hideous beast that confronted him."_

 _"Thinking Maurice had come to stare at him, the Beast was furious. Without mercy, he locked this unwanted visitor in the dungeon._ _When her father's horse came home alone, Belle went in search of her father and found him locked up._ _Belle begged the Beast for Maurice's freedom. "Take me instead," she offered._ _The Beast agreed, making her promise to stay in the castle forever!"_

 _Believing Kensi had finally drifted off, he decided to stop and closed the book. He put it back on its place before standing up. He tucked her in her blanket and fixed her teddy's position in her arms. Gently brushing a hand through her daughter's hair, he whispered. "Goodnight, my Princess."_

 _"I want to be like Belle when I grow up, Dad." She suddenly blurted out, slowly_ _opening her eyes to look at his father. "She doesn't have a mother like me. It's only her and her dad but they are happy. She's brave. She faced the beast and saved her father."_

 _"Yes, she is all that."_

 _Kensi's face turned serious. She declared, "I'll save you too one day, Dad. I promise. I'll be brave and rescue you just like Belle."_

 _Donald smiled and kissed her forehead. "I'm lucky to have a daughter like you, Princess. And I'm sure you're going to be as brave as Belle when you grow up. You're going to love adventures and enjoy your life. You'll save not just me but other people too because you're not going to be afraid."_

* * *

She softly closed the worn out book of Beauty and the Beast in her hands, winding up her reminiscing. Kensi missed her father. It was nights like this when she couldn't sleep that she longed for him.

He was her best friend, her confidante. Donald was the only person she trusted the most in the world. He wasn't a perfect father, having his own shortcomings. But for her, he was more than perfect. Her father was there when her mother wasn't. He took care of her when Julia, his wife, opted to leave her husband and daughter for another man.

She was 4 when Julia decided that her life would be better in Boston with a man she fell in love with. Despite her young age when it happened, Kensi could still remember the day her mother left.

* * *

 _She was playing in the family room with her Barbie when she heard shouting and crying from her parents' bedroom. Kensi ignored the sound, had been hearing a lot more of them recently. Moments later, her mother came bursting out crying and dragging a large suitcase with her. Her father following shortly, his face was red and his breathing was ragged._

 _Julia paused in front of her daughter and called her attention. "I love you, Kensi." She whispered. "I will always love you."_

 _"M-mom?!" Kensi looked up at her._

 _Brown eyes met hazel ones. One pair was in tears while the other was in questions._

 _Julia quickly planted a kiss on her daughter's hair, burying her nose on the smell of her child for the last time before exiting their home with her bag, without sparing her husband a glance._

 _"Mom!" Kensi called for her mother. She was puzzled why Julia would leave without her. That never happened before. Her mother would always bring her with her. No matter where she would go, Kensi would always come with her._

 _Perceptive even in her young age, she quickly sensed_ _something was wrong. She_ _hastily stood up from the floor, her Barbie forgotten, and as fast as her tiny feet could, she ran towards the door, where she saw her mother just passed through. "Mom!" She cried in panic._

 _Before Kensi could reach the door, a pair of arms took her in and lifted her up from the ground, preventing her from taking further steps. "Kensi," Her father whispered._

 _"Mom!" She tried to pry his father's hands away from her. Tears started falling down her face. "No Dad! Let me go! Mom's leaving! Mom!"_

 _"It's alright, sweetie. E-Everything will be alright." She heard Donald mumbled._

 _Kensi immediately stopped when she noticed how different her father's voice sounded. Turning her eyes on him, for the first time she saw Donald crying. "D-Dad?" Lifting her small hands, she wiped his tears away. "It's okay. It's okay Dad." She innocently uttered, not really comprehending what was happening but wanting to console him nonetheless._

 _Her father broke down, his huge body came tumbling down the floor, carrying her with him. He hugged her and cried. Kensi's young heart ached seeing him like that._

 _Donald was a strong man. He was tall and built. He rarely smiled and his voice was hard but everytime he would look at her, he would smile fondly and would talk softly. He would read stories to her and would sometime sing songs. Kensi remembered her mother would chided him for spoiling her, telling him how their only daughter would grow up a daddy's girl. He would just laughed and ignored Julia's comment._

 _Kensi knew something had happened and it had to be terrible because it made her father cry. He never cried. He would laughed and got angry but never cried. She wrapped her short arms around him and hugged him as tight as her young hands could do, silently wishing he would tell her what brought him to tears. Because whatever it was, she wouldn't do it, never wanting to see her father like that again._

* * *

She recalled how months after her mother's abrupt departure, Donald explained to her that Julia will not be coming back and there were only the two of them now. Kensi didn't know then the truth. She immediately thought it was because of her and her tantrums. Julia never liked when she threw fit. But Donald was quick to assure her that she is not to blame. Julia had things to do that their presence would only distract her, Kensi was told by her father.

Even if it hurt to learn that she was considered a distraction, she accepted Donald's reason. She could tell that Julia's leaving had deeply affected her father. He busied himself with work, leaving her in the presence of a babysitter. But she was okay with that. Nana Poly, her nanny, was a kind lady that would teach Kensi her assignments and would allow her to eat as many Twinkies and ice cream as she can.

It was only when she was already 8 that she learned the truth about Julia. Kensi had overheard their meddlesome neighbors talking about her mother. Apparently, one of those nosy ladies saw her in Boston, months pregnant and was walking with a man. They were cozy, the lady who witnessed them described.

That night, she angrily confronted Donald. She asked him if what their neighbors was talking about was the truth, that her mother was in some state and had a family of her own now, that she left them to live with another man. He answered yes to all her questions. And Kensi's 8-year old heart shattered. She cried. Donald cried with her. They spent the entire night comforting each other. Both were hurt. Both were thinking they we're lacking. But both knew that in time, things will get better.

After that night, they never talked about Julia again. Her name was never mentioned once more in their home. A silent understanding was made by the father and daughter. They were moving on or at least would try to move on. Their days were spent as usual. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. Months turned to years. They lived happily and contently.

Donald never got married again. He went to several dates at Kensi's demand but nothing came into fruition. She wanted his father to find someone who would make him happy. She wanted him to live his best, thinking that a new wife could give him that. She was willing to overlook the possibility that a new woman would live in their house as her stepmother. But he would insist that even if he didn't get married for the second time, he was already contented. He had her, there was nothing else he needed, he would joke. No matter what he reasoned, she knew, deep inside, his father still loved his wife.

* * *

 _"Once in your life you'll find someone you'll love."_

 _Glancing at her father, she saw his hazel eyes were glued at the fire before them. Despite the darkness of the area, Kensi was able to read Donald's face. He was reminiscing. He looked peaceful thinking back._

 _They were in a campsite, having their yearly outdoor activity. They had been camping for years now. It was Donald's idea, wanting to teach his only daughter how to survive outside the comfort the city provides. Once a year, they would go to a 3-day 2-night trip to one of the numerous camping sites in California. Tonight was their second night and they were due to leave tomorrow morning._

 _Kensi had learned how to hunt for rabbits that morning. She cried for the poor bunny she shot when it died in her hands. Despite how her father urged her to eat the now-dead-already-cooked rabbit, she refused. She even yelled at him for making her kill an innocent little harmless animal. Donald laughed while she shed tears. He didn't force her anymore but told her that if she got hungry later, the rabbit stew was waiting for her in the pot to eat._

 _Hours later, Donald was full from dinner while she was beginning to starve. They were sitting across from each other outside their individual tent and in front of the fire he started._

 _"You're already 14 right?" He asked suddenly._

 _"Yes."_

 _"You got crushes?"_

 _"Dad!" She was perplexed._

 _He snorted. "It's alright, sweetie. I understand if you have boys who interests you now._ _It's normal at your age."_

 _"I can't believe we're talking about this." She commented, feeling the heat on her cheeks. Donald never had a heart to heart talk with her before. And if what they were having was that, well, it was awkward._

 _"Just don't mistake crush from love. There's a big difference between them." There was a gentle warning in his tone. Softly said but a warning nonetheless._

 _"H-How will I know the difference?"_

 _"You'll know it, princess. There's never going to be a right explanation nor a perfect definition, you'll just know. When that moment happens, you'll feel it. It's different. It's unlike you've had before. And you'll know you will never have anything like it again. It will happen only once. You'll either find him or he'll find you. If you have it, treasure it. Take care of it. Because if you lose it, your life will never be complete."_

 _Kensi was silent, pondering over his words. She thought about her mother. She was Donald's one true love. The one he found. The one he lost. The only one who could complete him once more. She then understood why his father never fell in love again._

* * *

Thinking back that exact moment brought pain to Kensi's heart. It was their last camping trip together. Donald passed away due to a drunk driving accident the next year. He died happy and content, like he wanted his daughter to believe. But what he didn't need to tell her, what she read on his face everytime she would stare at him, was he died broken-hearted.

Staring at the image of Belle and her Beast, hands together, body pressed against each other, eyes only for each other, on the cover of her childhood book, she thought of the cop at the hospital who had a friend 'Belle'.

Wasn't it a little coincidental that her favorite princess in her younger days and Deeks' good friend had the same name? She thought a little keen. 'Too bad he isn't in contact with her anymore.', Kensi pondered with regret, looking back to their conversation mere hours ago.

* * *

 _"H-How do you know about B-Belle?" Deeks answered her question with one of his own. He stared at her earnestly, waiting for her to explain._

 _"In the basement, you called her name several times."_

 _"She's gone." He looked as if he was about to cry._

 _"Gone?" Thinking the person they were talking about was dead, Kensi's eyes watered. She immediately felt sorry for Deeks._

 _Seeing her reaction, he quickly explained. "No, she's not gone like dead. She's alive. I'm sorry I shouldn't have used that word."_

 _"Oh, I thought...you know..."_

 _"I...I don't know where she is at the moment but I'm sure she's alright. She's strong, the strongest person I've ever known. Wherever life leads her, she'll survive. She's a fighter." He said with pure conviction._

 _Curious about his friend, she asked. "And you haven't seen her in years?"_

 _Seeming hesitant to respond, Deeks paused for a second. "N-No. Uhm...she left... She needed to leave. Belle has to be some place she needed to be."_

 _"You haven't heard from her since then?"_

 _He shook his head no._

 _"You miss_ _her." She commented. "I bet she misses you too, Deeks."_

 _"I don't think she misses me, Kensi. I want to believe that she has forgotten about me. It's already been years. We've only known each other for 6 months but she has been a big part of me. I... I just... I just want to tell her..." He was having a hard time finishing his sentence._

 _Hating to see him that emotional, Kensi reached for his hand and carefully held it with hers. "I don't know her, Deeks. But if she's been a special part of your life, I'm pretty sure you've been to hers too. What you guys shared during those months are more than what others experienced in their lifetimes. Wherever she is, I hope she'll know that she is being missed and eventually, she'll come back to you."_

 _"I'm hoping for that too. Thank you, K-Kensi."_

* * *

Deeks had a friend. Her name was Belle. Belle left. He didn't see her again. He missed her. Kensi tried to figure out 'Belle's' importance in his life from what he had told her so far. Her head started to ache determining where could Belle be and why Deeks hadn't had contact with her for years. She wasn't dead, he was sure of that. But why it was as if she disappeared?

She exhaled, frustrated. It wasn't like Deeks was going to be a constant in her own life, Kensi pondered over why was his happiness important to her. Was it guilt because he was beaten to almost death protecting her identity? Or was it something more?

'Is this what I think it is, Dad?' She silently questioned Donald, remembering his words.

Afraid of what could be the answer, she placed the book on her bedside table and laid down on the bed, closing her eyes and forcing herself to sleep.

* * *

"Detective Deeks,"

He looked up from the newspaper he was reading and saw an older woman standing by his now opened door. He didn't recognize her but it was clear that she knew him. "Yes?" Trying to straighten up his body on the bed, Deeks winced from the pain that jolted in him. He was wary, seeing a stranger in his room without noticing her entry. He didn't even hear the door being opened.

"If I want to kill you, you won't know I already did it, Detective." The strange stranger uttered, eyeing him seriously.

He glanced at the closed door, mentally calculating how long Mason had already been outside processing his release papers.

As if she was able to read his thoughts and see right through him, she smiled oddly. "Detective Mason will be here in 15 minutes. She's at the cafeteria right now, chatting with a nurse. I think they're planning a dinner date or something like that."

Paranoid at what more the woman in his room knew, he asked. "W-Who are you?"

She took several steps towards him.

If he could, Deeks would take a step back away from her. He wasn't afraid of what the shorter woman could do but no one could fault him from being careful.

"I'm Henrietta Lange of NCIS OSP. Hetty for short. I hope I was mentioned to you last night when I asked Agent Callen to send my get well soon. I apologize for only showing up today, there are...things I had to take care of yesterday."

"You're Hetty?"

"I can show you my ID if you want, Detective."

"No, there's no need for that, Hetty. From what I've heard of you, what I've seen so far isn't surprising."

She smiled, taking his words as a compliment.

"Thank you for coming. Agent Callen has send your regards to me last night. If you're going to ask me about Hernandez, I already told the investigators that I never disclosed anything. They do not K-Kensi's real identity."

"It's not because of Hernandez that I am here, Detective Deeks. Although I'd like to personally express my gratitude to you for protecting Agent Blye."

"I'd do it again if I have to. We are working on the same side. I know sacrifices has to be made sometimes." He answered.

"Yes, that is very much true Mr. Deeks. But we both know you have your own reason why you did what you did."

Deeks was lost. Did Hetty know something?

"I know plenty of things but I'm not in power to disclose them, Detective Deeks." Hetty offered the brown folder in her hand to him.

He took it a little hesitantly. When he flipped over the files inside, Deeks was stunned to see details about him in those papers, as in everything about him. It was a thorough background investigation. Compiled in a folder where his school diplomas and transcripts, his medical and dental record, informations about his parents and their businesses, facts about Brandel and Associates, reports of the undercover missions he had done. But the first page caught his attention, it was a contract.

He looked at Hetty, bewildered but awed.

"My boss wants to assign a liaison officer from LAPD."

"H-Hetty,"

"I can't give you the answers you're seeking for but I'm giving you a chance to get them personally from _her_ , Detective Deeks."

* * *

 _Author's Note: I hope you're_ _still enjoying this story. It's more detailed than my previous stories but we're getting closer, please be patient. :)_

 _* the Beauty and the Beast excerpt I used is from Disney website._

 _* will Deeks be joining the NCIS LA team? Let's wait for the next chapter to find out._

 _Thank you all! :)_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 _Deeks was standing outside the restaurant with his eyes roaming around the busy street. Glancing at his wristwatch, he let out an exhale. She was 15 minutes late and he was starting to get worried._

 _'What's taking you so long?' He silently asked._

 _With a furrowed brow, he looked inside the restaurant and saw his parents busy talking to each other. Roberta glanced at him, question was in her blue eyes. He only gave her an assuring nod which she returned with a smile, before focusing her attention back to her husband._

 _"Deeks man!_

 _He recognized the voice of his best friend Ray and saw him rushing towards him._

 _"What's up?" He questioned, surprised to see him gasping for air._

 _Catching for his breath, Ray held up a hand to stop him from inquiring more. When he felt like he could talk now, he started. "Glad to see you here. What's up with Belle? I saw her board a bus. Told me she needs to leave. Did you guys kick her out or something?"_

 _"Belle riding a bus? What the hell are you talking about? I'm waiting for her here. In fact, she was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago." He spoke fast, confused as to what his friend was saying and asking._

 _His parents, sensing something was amiss, were by their side in an instant._

 _Deeks glanced at them before turning back to his friend. "We're all waiting for her here."_

 _Always the calm one amongst them, Gordon tried to handle the situation. "Settle down, son. Let Ray talk first."_

 _Hearing his father's words, he shut his mouth but his agitation didn't ebb._

 _Three pairs of eyes waited for Ray to speak._

 _"I was at the terminal, escorting my aunt, when I saw Belle standing outside a bus. I called her but she didn't hear me. She was about to climb inside when I grabbed her hand. That stopped her. But man, she almost broke my arm when she did that martial arts move. She glared at me like I'm a stranger. I asked her where she was going, she just said she needs to go. She boarded the bus alone. I was about to go to your house and ask about her because something was odd from the way she was acting. Good thing I saw you here. That spared me the travel."_

 _"Are you sure it's her?" Deeks confirmed._

 _Ray rolled his eyes, a habit he learned from Belle. "What the heck?! Of course it's Clopedia, man." He used her nickname, the one he fondly gave her. It was a shorter term for Encyclopedia._

 _"She rode the bus alone? You didn't see anyone with her or someone forcing her?" Gordon asked._

 _Ray shook his head no. "I'm sure she's all alone Mr. Brandel."_

 _"Why did you say she was acting strangely?" Roberta's soft voice questioned._

 _"When I called her name and she didn't turn, I assumed that she didn't hear me. But the weird thing was, my voice was loud. I was almost yelling, Mrs. Brandel. It was as though she didn't recognize her own name. When I tried to stop her, she fought me. I understand I might have surprised her but the way she looked at me, I'm pretty sure she didn't know me." His best friend explained._

 _Deeks looked at his parents, Gordon's face was inscrutable but he noticed he was taking deep breaths while Roberta's eyes were filled with worry, one hand clutching her chest._

 _"She said she needs to leave?" He asked Ray._

 _Ray nodded solemnly. "Yeah. She said, 'I'm sorry, I need to go.' That was all, man."_

 _Without thinking twice, Deeks ran away, tuning out his mother's voice calling for him. Redford had only one bus terminal and luckily, it was situated only meters from the restaurant he came from. Deeks rushed towards it._

 _When he arrived at the terminal, he frantically searched for the bus that had 'Belle' inside. He climbed inside every bus that was parked, looking for his dark haired friend but he didn't find her. An old man working there told him that a bus going to Seattle just left minutes ago, maybe the person he was looking for was in it._

 _Standing alone at center of the spaciousness terminal, Deeks' shoulders sagged when he realized that she was really gone._

* * *

 _"I'm sorry, I need to go."_

Those were Kensi's last words before she left Redford. Leaving his family, the friends she made and the life she had for 6 months. Leaving him. The Brandels did everything they could to search for her but with Ray's statement, saying he saw her left on her own and not against her will, they couldn't do much.

Nobody saw her again. She never returned. It was as though she had forgotten their small town and everything, everyone in it. Like the way she came into their lives, she left with no explanation.

Deeks glanced at the file folder resting on the center table of his living room. Inside was the contract Hetty gave him a couple of weeks ago. He grabbed it to open, the unsigned paper greeting him immediately. His gaze swept over the sheet that could change his life and give him the answers he was looking for in a very long time.

If he sign it now, he was going to be a liaison officer of LAPD for NCIS starting tomorrow. Deeks had left the hospital two weeks ago, bringing the folder with him. Hetty offered him time to think about it, which he gratefully accepted.

It wasn't like he was having second thoughts on signing the contract, he already knew from the moment Hetty mentioned her offer what his reply would be. He requested the 14-day leave of absence from Lt. Bates not only to let himself heal from the bruises and broken finger he had suffered but also to ready himself for the new environment he was going to be reporting in, new people he was going to be working with and most of all, for having 'Belle' once again in his life. Deeks had to be prepared. 'Belle' was Kensi now. He knew better than to accidentally call her by her previous name again.

Back in the basement, he was delusional from too much pain that when he saw her worried eyes staring at him, he couldn't help but whisper her name, the name he had called her countless of times in the past. It was a mistake, he admit. It roused Kensi's curiosity. She inquired about 'Belle' when she was given a chance. And Deeks had to lie to her.

But what options did he had? It was obvious that Kensi had no clue who he was and who he had been in her life. Something happened the day she abruptly left Redford and disappeared and he was going to find out what. This was his chance and he wasn't going to blow it. Deeks had to be careful. Kensi had always been intuitive but this time she had the skills of a competent federally-trained agent. He had to take it slowly. He would get his answers eventually.

Closing the folder and putting it back on the table, Deeks stood up. He needed to see the beach, the water always had a calming effect on his nerves. He was starting to get anxious for tomorrow. Grabbing his keys on the counter, he called for his dog.

"C'mon Monty! Let's get some fresh air."

The now old mutt, strong even in his age, had woken up from his slumber and after stretching his body, ran towards him. Deeks petted the dog's ear, one of the things 'Belle' used to do to the then puppy.

He shook his head, disappointed at himself.

"I really should start getting used to her real name." He muttered.

Monty looked up at him.

"I hope I can introduce you to her. It's been a long time, Monty. Let's wait for a little longer, alright?"

The dog barked eagerly in answer, as though he understood what Deeks was saying.

* * *

"So you have no idea who it's going to be?" Sam asked the Intelligence Analyst.

Nell shook her head no. "Nope, not even a clue."

"Who do you think will it be?" Eric inquired the team leader.

"Hetty's as unpredictable as the weather, he or she could be anybody." Callen uttered.

Kensi was silently watching her teammates chat from her chair in the bullpen. The four were busy guessing who their new teammate was going to be while she remained mum from her seat. Her mind was hoping for the impossible.

Early this morning, every one in the team received a message from Hetty, telling them to come half an hour early than their 9:30 call time. The Operations Manager cited that there was going to be an announcement regarding the arrival of a new teammate. No further information was disclosed in the message to their dismay.

The addition of a new person in the team shocked all of them. They lost her previous partner, Dom, a couple of months ago and they all took his death hard. Kensi had only been working with the younger man for a month when he was kidnapped and found but tragically died, saving Sam's life. She grieved for him. He had so much potential, a bright future in the field, had he lived.

For two months, Hetty didn't hire another agent to join their now five-person group. Kensi assumed that the older woman was fine with only her, Callen and Sam working in the field while Eric and Nell handle the Ops Center business. But her assumption was obviously wrong because here they were now, talking about Hetty's announcement from minutes ago.

When she arrived at the office at 8:30, she didn't think she would be the last one to be there. Apparently, everyone was as interested as her in knowing more about this new addition. Hetty gathered all five of them in Ops and without further ado, revealed that a liaison officer from LAPD would be coming today and would be working for NCIS for an indefinite amount of time. This person would be joining the team's field agents, particularly Kensi as her new partner.

At the mention of LAPD, her heart beat faster, thinking of the possibility that it was going to be _him_. She silently hoped it was _him._ For two weeks, her mind went to the blonde shaggy haired cop more often than she would have liked. They were random times like when she looked up at the clear sky and noticed its color, she was reminded of the endless blue of his eyes. One time when she was grocery shopping, she saw a man with the same hair as him and Kensi almost went to him to greet him. To her disappointment when he turned and she saw his face, the man wasn't Deeks.

Kensi didn't know what was wrong with her for thinking about him that much. It frustrates her to mull over him, about what could he be doing, how were his bruises and broken finger. She even pictured him with his dog one time. And now just an idea that Deeks could be the one joining them as her new partner was putting her to the edge.

"Any idea Kens?" Callen pulled her back to the present.

She shook her head no. "You're right. With Hetty's unpredictability, the cop could be anyone."

"How about Detective Deeks?" Sam guessed.

She straightened up from her chair, hearing Sam's hunch.

"Could be. He's an experienced undercover cop. Though trained differently, Detective Deeks is more competent than any other policeman I know when it comes to handling our kind of missions." Callen gave his opinion.

"I think he'll fit right with us." Nell added.

"Wow! I didn't know you guys think so highly of me." A voice was heard from the entrance. A voice Kensi didn't realize she easily recognized and missed these past weeks.

All heads turned to the entryway and saw Deeks standing with Hetty by his side.

"You guessed correct, Agent Sam." The Operations Manager started. "I'd like you all to meet the newest addition to our team, Detective Deeks. He'll be joining us as a liaison officer of LAPD for NCIS and will be partnered with Agent Blye. Detective Deeks, meet the A-team of NCIS."

Thrilled Hellos and How are yous were traded by everyone. Kensi took the time to peruse him. He looked well-rested, gone were the bruises on his face. His split lip was healed. She glanced at his once-broken finger and was relieved that it was no longer covered in a splint. The 14 days leave had a great effect on him, she noted.

She also discerned how having him as the person to complete their team was very much welcomed by everyone. It was unusual that a new person was received gladly by them. Most often than not, they were having a hard time accepting an addition to their tight knit group but she could tell that with Deeks, it was different.

When it was her time to greet him, she walked towards him and offered him her hand.

"Welcome to NCIS, 'partner'." She said with a smile.

He took her hand and shook it gently. "Thanks. Looking forward to be working with you."

"How's your finger?"

"It healed quite nicely."

"That's great."

He nodded. "It is."

For a moment, they remained silent, blue eyes glued to hazels. It was only when they heard Hetty's voice from the background that reality kicked in.

Kensi faked a cough to pull herself together while Deeks brushed a hand through his hair.

'It's going to be an interesting partnership.' She thought.

* * *

"You brought your car." Kensi commented, her eyes on the red Chevrolet Malibu parked beside her silver Cadillac.

"Uhm, yes. Wasn't I supposed to?" He asked, wondering if he just committed a mistake.

She quickly shook her head no. "Of course you can drive your car, Deeks. It's just that since we're partners now, it will be more convenient if we carpool. I can pick you up from your place in the morning and drive you back home in the afternoon. What do you think?" She offered, smiling, hiding the fact that she was nervous of what his answer was going to be.

They were in the office parking lot, ready to go home. The day was spent without a case which was a blessing in disguise because Deeks was able to observe and get oriented on how OSP work. Callen helped him understand the differences between their protocols and the one he was trained and used to practice as a cop. Their team leader patiently answered all of his inquiries.

Deeks even did a one on one hand to hand combat with Sam in the gym. The former Navy Seal was impressed with his skills. Deeks wasn't able to defeat him but he did well, Sam assessed. Kensi watched as the two fought and she agreed with her teammate's observation. For a policeman, he had managed to hold himself against Sam's attacks quite admirable. A little more training and he would be as good as any of them, she discerned.

Eric and Nell introduced him to the marvel of Ops Center. Gaping at the latest technologies before him, Deeks was clearly impressed. The wonder twins familiarized him to the comm links and other gadgets he was going to use in the field. A laptop and a cellphone were also handed to him.

She brought him to the Boatshed and explained its purpose. Kensi mentioned in passing that his friend, Detective Mason, had been there once. Was she fishing for a clue about the status of his and Mason's relationship? She almost blushed when she realized that she actually was. Deeks only replied that his friend had told him about their interview with her.

At the end of the day, he was fascinated with OSP's resources. He understood why they need to maintain the branch's secrecy and why their office was in an abandoned looking Spanish mansion.

"Carpool? That's a great idea. But why not let me do the driving?"

"With that car?" Kensi questioned in surprise before rolling her eyes. "I'm sorry, Deeks, but my SRX is way more better than yours."

Deeks shrugged his shoulders. "Forgiven, Kensi. But if you let me finish, I'll tell you that I'm alright with us using your 'better' SRX. I-I'm just not okay with you driving while I'm stuck on the passenger seat."

He couldn't tell her that when she was 'Belle', he used to drive her around Redford. Either when she was having her donut craving or she wanted to buy a jelly bracelet to add to her collection, Deeks would gladly find time to drive her. It had been what he was used to and not the other way around.

"You don't trust my driving skill?!" She asked, wide-eyed in outraged.

"N-no, that's not what I meant. Of course, I know you can drive." He ran his fingers through his blonde hair in discomfort.

"Then what is it with me driving and you being stuck in the passenger seat? Is it a sexist thing, Deeks? My God, are you one of those men?"

"What those men?" He was confused.

"You know, those men who think they always have to be better than women!"

"No, I-I'm not one of those, Kensi."

 _Things are starting to get out of hand,_ he sensed. Deeks knew if he didn't stop her from thinking worst of him right on the very first day of their partnership, he would never recover.

He let out an exhale before locking his eyes on hers. She was angry, her hazels we're burning with annoyance. "I'm sorry, Kensi. It's not that I don't trust you or your driving skill. Of course you know how to drive and I'm sure you're a good one too."

Deeks must remember now that the woman in front of him was no longer the same teenage girl he met 12 years ago. He was overprotective with her in the past but it was different in the present. Kensi had been living the past decade without him nor his care and she was doing very well. The realization that he was no longer needed in her life saddened him.

"How about we compromise?" Kensi acquiesced. The look of misery on his face brought a pang of disappointment in her heart, knowing she was the cause of it. "I'll pick you up with my car and you can drive us to work. In the afternoon, you can drive us back to your place and I'll drive myself home. And we can toss a coin on who's driving who in the field. How about that?" She proposed and watched as he smiled.

"I like that." He grinned, happy that things turned out great.

"It's a deal then?" Beaming, Kensi held her hand out.

Without thinking twice, he took and shook it. "Deal."

He couldn't help but remember their first pact.

* * *

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _Deeks heard her mumble. It had been six days since she was released from the hospital and had been staying in their home. 'Belle' was adapting well in her new life. She spent her days reading books in the house library or watching TV._

 _Things started to have been different in the Brandels household since her arrival. Roberta always made sure to_ _be home for lunch to join 'Belle' and sometimes would bring her with her to her bakeshop for the rest of the afternoon while Gordon would never fail to show up for dinner, a meal the three of them rarely shared before._

 _For him, well, ever since she came into their home, he hadn't been in a party again, to the chagrin of Ray and his friends, to the delight of his mother. He was aware that his father was pleased to see him home every night and not in someone else's house drunk and doing something stupid but Gordon had never been showy with his feelings and Deeks had long ago accepted it._

 _Since it was a Saturday and his first weekend grounding was taking effect, he spent his morning in his room watching TV. When he went down for lunch,_ _he saw Roberta standing against the kitchen counter, worried and almost in tears. Deeks asked what was wrong and she replied that 'Belle' was missing. She arrived minutes ago for lunch but didn't find the teenage girl. She looked for her in her room and everywhere in the house, she couldn't find her._

 _Deeks was almost at the door to start looking for her when 'Belle' walked in. When asked where she was, she said she wanted to go to a park. She walked around the neighborhood but didn't find one so she decided to go back home, knowing Roberta would be there. 'Belle' didn't realize that his mother would arrive first._

 _Almost mad that she left without telling him and had Roberta worried, he berated her. She went into her room guilty. Roberta rebuked him for overacting and forced him to talk to 'Belle'._

 _Following his mother, he went to her room and found her sitting on the edge of her bed with her_ _eyes downcast and her hands were fidgety on her lap._

 _"I'm sure you didn't mean it."_

 _'Belle' looked up at him and nodded. "I didn't mean to leave without telling anybody, Deeks. I thought about telling you but you were busy in your room and I didn't want to disturb you. I'm sorry."_

 _He squatted in front of her. "How about we make a deal?"_

 _"Deal?"_

 _"Yes, a deal. If you have a place you want to go, how about I come with you? I can even drive you."_

 _"You'll do that?"_

 _"Of course. All you have to do is_ _tell me. And if I can't, I'll ask mom to accompany you."_

 _Her face brightened. "Thank you."_

 _"Let's seal our deal with a handshake, what do you think?" He asked, offering his hand._

 _Eagerly, 'Belle' took it and shook it firmly. "Deal?" She asked._

 _"Boy, you have a grip." He commented, feigning to be hurt from her grasp._

 _She laughed at his fake wince._

 _"Deal." He said, closing their arrangement._

* * *

Author's Note: Thank you for your reviews/favorites/follows. :)

* I almost used Ray's Wikipedia in the story but then I realized it's 1997 when Deeks was 18. I believe there was no Wikipedia yet during that year so I opted for Encyclopedia thus making his nickname for Kensi, Clopedia.

* Next chapter will be the start of Deeks working with the team in the field. It may or may not be in reference with previous episodes of NCIS LA.

Happy to hear from you! :)


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Thank you for your reviews/favorites/follows! :)

*** This chapter is in reference to NCIS LA Season 1 Episode 2 titled "Fame". Some dialogues are from the show.

Happy to hear from you. :)

* * *

 **C** **hapter 9**

"Do you think he likes it?" Kensi whispered at the man on her side while her gaze was on the dog in her front, sniffing his newest toy.

Deeks looked at her incredulously. "Are you kidding me? Look at him, he won't be putting that ball down anytime soon. He loves it."

"Really?" She asked, turning to him. "The doctor at the vet clinic said it's soft enough for his teeth and for your walls and furnitures too."

With the ball in between his mouth, Monty's attention turned to her.

"I'm glad you like the gift Monty." She said, bending over to rub the dog's ear with her fingers. "I think he likes me, Deeks." She sensed when he leaned on her more and closed his eyes. Kensi squatted, her hand not leaving the dog.

Deeks watched the scene before him with longing in his eyes.

His partner arrived at his place 30 minutes earlier than the scheduled time. He heard the doorbell rang and strode towards the front door with Monty, who no matter how many years had passed had somehow remembered 'Belle', joining him in frenzy.

As soon as the door was wide enough, Monty let out an excited bark before throwing himself to his surprised partner. The dog made several licks on Kensi's face. Although clueless, she laughed wholeheartedly at his antics. Deeks removed the mutt on her seconds after, apologizing for ruining her appearance. She dismissed his sorry as she fixed herself. To his disappointment, Kensi thought that the toy in her pocket was what the dog got thrilled. He watched as she brought out an soft indoor ball for dogs and offered it to Monty, who took it without a blink.

He swallowed an invisible lump down his throat. "We need to go, Kensi."

It was clear that she didn't recognize her own pet but he hoped that Monty's added presence would trigger something in her. Deeks still had no idea what happened to her and how come she had forgotten the life she shared with them. He started doing his own research about amnesia but so far it wasn't very helpful and couldn't answer his series of questions.

Deeks decided that his wondering could wait, the most important thing was she was in his life again and he would do anything for it to stay that way.

* * *

"Didn't know you're tuned-in to the likes of Aubrey Darva." She casually commented with a smirk on her lips.

Winning the coin flipping of the day, Deeks glanced at her from behind the wheel. They were in her Cadillac on the way to the crime scene. The briefing in Ops informed them that a Lieutenant Brian Roth sailed a car off Mulholland Drive early that morning with two bullets in him. Eyewitness stated that he was still alive when he went over. The car that he was driving belonged to an Aubrey Darva. To the surprise of the team, Deeks identified the woman as 'the Aubrey Darva', one of LA's famous socialites.

"Yeah, it's part of my job." He replied.

Kensi nodded. "You do have an interesting job, Deeks."

"You could say that again. But I bet yours isn't boring too."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I have my moments."

"What made you join NCIS?"

Deeks noticed how she stiffened on her seat, hesitation flooded her face in an instant. He waited for her answer. Thinking she won't respond, he backed down. "You don't have to tell me, Kensi, if you don't want to. My reason in becoming a cop isn't as typical as you might think."

"It wasn't about the uniform?" She asked, eyes wide feigning disbelief.

He laughed. "Why am I not surprised you think of me that way?"

"Could be because you know Aubrey Darva?"

"It's my job, Kensi." He tried to explain. "When you're undercover in the street, you have to know all these facts, the who's who, stuff like that."

She rolled her eyes but didn't comment. Silence filled the vehicle while he drove.

"One day, Deeks." She uttered in a quiet voice. "I'll tell you my reason why I am here one day."

He nodded, respecting her decision. "Okay."

* * *

Deeks tried to hide his shock at the look of the woman striding towards him. She had grown up beautifully, he now noticed. Her long dark hair was in a high ponytail, her eyes were smoky from the eyeshadow, her lips were glossy. The silver dangling earrings on her were contrasted by the black mid-thigh dress that was hugging her body perfectly. He noted that she had no problem walking on a pair of black high heel boots.

"She really is a grown up now." He murmured.

"What?" Busy with putting her essentials to her black clutch bag, she was oblivious to her partner's perusal but had heard his words. She glanced at him. "What is it? Am I not dressed right for the night?"

He quickly shook his head no. "No, you look good, very beautiful. I-I mean, you'll fit in."

When he first saw Kensi again at Hernandez's party, it never occurred to him how much time had passed. Despite seeing her made up and also in a black gown that time, he immediately thought of her as his teenage friend 'Belle' and not as a federal agent. Looking at her now, realization crept in him and made him aware that the once skinny dark haired girl from 12 years ago was now the competent and trained NCIS Special Agent Kensi Blye.

"Are you ready, Kens?" Callen, who entered the bullpen with Sam, asked. Like her, he was donning an expensive suit over a signature long sleeves.

Kensi nodded. "I am."

The team was about to go to Balm, the hottest club in Hollywood. When they arrived at the crime scene that morning, they found out from the blood stains on the door handle of the vehicle, that Roth was shot before he got in the car. Examining the body, they noticed a door stamp for Balm on his wrist, giving them clue to where he had been the night before. The need to locate Aubrey was their next tasked when they saw her belongings still in her car. A torn pink fabric from the dress she was wearing last night was also found inside.

While Callen and Sam interviewed Roth's buddies from the Navy, Deeks and Kensi went to the Darva residence hoping to interview the socialite. Aubrey wasn't in her house, to the surprise of her stepfather who they talked to. A BOLO was quickly put on the now missing socialite. From Callen and Sam's interview, Roth's buddies confirmed that they were at the Balm last night and saw Roth left the place with Aubrey.

Ops Center managed to recover an audio from the SOS system in Aubrey's car. Out of Roth's dying sentence, the words 'King' and 'Club' were what they only understood. The victim's voice was weak and almost inaudible. Guesses were traded by the entire team until they came up with a conclusion that the 'Club' could be Balm and the 'King' could be a person or a kingpin. Assuming Aubrey was a kingpin's girl and out of jealousy the said kingpin shot Roth, the plan to find the missing socialite at the Balm was made.

Callen, Kensi and Deeks would visit the club while Sam would stay with Roth's buddy in the boatshed. Deeks mentioned his familiarity with the club and its trend, disclosing to the team that the only way they could get inside was money.

"So Deeks, how did you talk Hetty into handing over a card with $50,000 limit to G.?" Sam questioned.

"There's a trick somewhere." Callen guessed.

"It's gotta be a trick." Kensi was sure.

"No trick. I just asked nicely." He acted nonchalantly, hiding the truth that Hetty threatened him with a letter opener if more than $5,000 was charged to the card. He wouldn't tell them that the older woman also made him sign as the guarantor. "I think I'm becoming her favorite."

Grinning boastfully, Deeks exited the bullpen, leaving the three agents stunned from his answer.

* * *

After recognizing Deeks as 'Tim', the bouncer let them in. Inside, 'Tim' introduced his companions to his sort of girlfriend Sapphire. The curly haired woman offered them the best seat in the house after learning that Callen was the son of a Russian oil businessman.

While scanning the place, Kensi saw Aubrey standing across from her, talking to several people.

"I don't believe it." She exclaimed to herself. "Callen, my 12 o' clock." Calling her teammate through the earpiece she was wearing, she pinpointed the missing socialite.

Callen and Deeks' eyes followed her gaze.

"Aubrey Darva. Alive."

"And well enough to party."

The three subtly studied Aubrey from their position while exchanging theories to what they were seeing. When she was approached by a man known to many as the mad Armenian, they moved to finally question what she knew.

They took position when she began striding towards the comfort room.

Kensi stood with her back against the wall and waited for the socialite to pass by her. Trying to blend with the crowd, she brought out her cellphone and started browsing it.

Aubrey was only a few feet away from her when Deeks mumbled through the earpiece.

"I'm gonna call you Fern, okay?" He said as he came near her.

 _...I'm like a fern..._

 _...So from now on, I'm going to call you Fern!..._

 _...Don't you dare call me Fern!..._

'What the-?' Kensi shook her head, trying to pull herself together from the influx of what seemed like memories of her and another person talking. She looked at the worried eyes of her partner, standing a few steps away from her, gazing at her intently.

"Are you okay?" He mouthed.

She nodded, opting to forget what just happened and focus back to the case. "Don't you dare call me Fern!"

Deeks smiled and glanced at the approaching socialite. Taking more steps to get closer to his partner, he said loudly. "Fern, baby girl! It's been a long time."

"Not interested."

Raising a hand and placing it beside her head, he trapped Kensi. "C'mon, I got a special."

Swatting his arm heedlessly, she freed herself. "Excuse me."

Deeks watched her walked away and followed Aubrey to the bathroom. For a moment, his mind went to the feeling of her body almost pressed against his. That hadn't been the first time they were in that position. They danced together during his senior prom. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him when he saw her again for the first time in 12 years. They danced that night too. But tonight, it felt different. She felt different against him. She felt right. It felt right. And Deeks couldn't figure out why.

* * *

"Kensi's at the Darva mansion." Deeks uttered, his eyes not leaving the picture of the man he saw yesterday at the Darva residence. The man they now knew as Hassan Al-Jahiri, one of Saddam's top generals, the King of Clubs from the Iraq War fugitive cards.

It was already the next morning when they finished questioning Aubrey Darva in the boatshed. The team found out that Roth spent the night with her in her house but when she woke up hours later, he was gone. Thinking that it was just a one night stand, she didn't bother looking for him but was saddened that he left without a word. She left her home with a friend who woke her up at 8 and they went to the spa.

The men went back to OSP while Kensi accompanied Aubrey to her house.

In Ops Center, the team was brainstorming to what could lead Roth to being shot. Sam left the room but went back minutes later with a deck of cards in his hands. Figuring out that Roth words were not saying 'club king' but 'King of Clubs', he showed them a special deck of cards issued to all the sailors and soldiers who went to Iraq.

Deeks easily recognized the King of Clubs as the man he saw yesterday in the Darva residence where he went with Kensi trying to look for Aubrey. Panic filled him thinking of his partner being alone with a dangerous man.

Callen called Kensi's cellphone and tried to warn her about Hassan but she had already caught on the fact that their victim was shot in the house. Deeks held his breath when she slyly hinted that she was in the room with their suspect. The call ended with Callen telling her they were on their way.

"Let's go. What are we waiting for?" Deeks nervously voiced out, not wanting to waste any more time.

His anxiety must had been plastered on his face because he saw Callen, Sam, Eric and Nell exchanged curious looks.

"Deeks, Kensi is an experienced agent. She knows what to do. She's trained for this. Trust your partner." Sam calmly explained.

He wanted to argue, wanted to tell them that he knew she wasn't new to this kind of danger and that he was aware she was skillful and capable to do her job. Deeks wanted to reveal that she wasn't just his partner, she was someone special to him, she was his friend. Kensi was a friend he lost but found again. And he had no plan on losing her again.

Letting out an exhale, he acquiesced. "Okay."

* * *

"Are you alright?"

He was about to put his laptop on the bag when he heard Kensi's voice. "I'm good."

"You seem off."

Deeks shook his head, not bothering to look at her. "I'm just tired."

"Okay."

He wasn't alright. He was actually far from it.

They arrived at the Darva mansion 15 minutes later after leaving OSP. Shots were fired as soon as they were seen. Seeing Kensi on her knees with a knife pressed against her neck brought out a strange feeling from him. For a moment, he was sure he was about to lose her again. It was new to him, the emotion, the feeling of being helpless while she was in danger, Deeks had never felt that sense of overprotectiveness for another person. Just the mere thought of her in pain and of someone hurting her, his heart painfully tightened in his chest. He was protective of her before when she had no idea of who she was, when she was just a teenager. But this time he could sense the difference. It was more intense, more powerful.

Kensi held herself together. She skillfully freed herself from the man gripping her. Deeks watched as she knocked the man out. Sam was right, she knew what to do. She could take care of herself but it didn't lessen his worrying.

"So, Fern?" She asked, eyes locked on his, one eyebrow raised, arms crossed on her chest.

Deeks froze in his action and finally glanced at her. She was standing in front of his desk, bag already on her shoulder, looking ready to go home. Raking his free hand through his hair, he tried to hide his discomfort. "Uhm... about that..."

* * *

 _"I'm like a fern."_

 _"What?" Deeks' blue eyes turned from the television screen to the teenage girl who sat herself beside him on the couch. He noticed a hardbound book in her hands._

 _"I'm like a fern, Deeks." She repeated seriously._

 _Thinking she was about to explain her statement, he kept silent and waited._

 _It was late Monday night and dinner ended hours ago. His parents had already retired for the night in their room while Deeks decided to watch a movie in the family room until he was sleepy. During dinner, he_ _heard Belle asking Roberta about borrowing some books from the house library to bring to her room. Roberta answered positively, not hiding how happy she was. She didn't even hesitate to voice out_ _that the library was finally being put to good use before throwing a castigating glare to her son._

 _The Brandel residence was one of the largest in their town, with a total of 6 bedrooms, 4 1/2 toilet and baths, a wine cellar in the basement, a library, and a state of the art kitchen specifically designed according to his mother's liking because she loved to cook. The library located near the dining area were housing numerous books from his parents' collection accumulated over the years_ _. Both loved to read, one of the traits that Deeks obviously didn't inherit._

 _With Belle coming into their lives, she unknowingly brought balance to the family. She had been the daughter Gordon and Roberta always wanted but unfortunately never had. And in her three weeks stay with them, she had become Deeks' confidante, a person he shared his thoughts and dreams with, no matter how senseless he deemed them to be. But she would contradict his beliefs, telling him that every dream matters, no matter how small or big it is. She would chide him for belittling himself before wisely reminding him that one person's success began with having a single dream, believing in it, and making it true. Hearing her utter those words to him with conviction, he found himself commending her wisdom and believing her._

 _It wasn't hard trusting the amnesiac girl, Deeks considered. Belle was genuine. She could be frank and up-front. Her outspokenness was something he admired secretly because he couldn't be as honest as she was._ _Living with the kind of father like his, Deeks had learned to hide his true emotions. What Gordon says, he must do. No questions, no complaints. Being real to your feelings was something he didn't figure out how to do._

 _"Look at this, Deeks." She handed him the book she had in her hands. It was opened to a certain page._

 _He quietly took it and gazed over the page. There were several paragraphs defining and describing the plant fern. He read them while she looked at him expectantly._

 _"Ferns are an ancient family of plants—which first show up in fossil records from a time over 100 million years before dinosaurs walked the Earth. In fact, ferns grew before flowering plants existed. Long ago, people couldn't explain how ferns reproduced since they lack flowers or seeds."_

 _"See?" She tried to confirm after he finished._

 _"You think you're like a fern because..." Deeks didn't know how to finish his sentence._

 _Belle rolled her eyes. "Didn't you get it?"_

 _He shook his head no._

 _She let out a frustrated exhale. "Nobody could explain how ferns reproduced. Like me, no one in this entire town knows how I ended up here. Like a fern, you can't explain my existence."_

 _"But like a fern, people had their questions answered at the right time. They discovered that ferns reproduce from spores." He argued._

 _"It's been three weeks, Deeks, and still without a clue. No hit from the cops. We got nothing."_

 _"I know you're getting disappointed, Belle. But I'm sure we'll have our answers eventually. And you know what? You really are a fern to me." He said with a smile._

 _"Why? Because of my unexplainable existence?"_

 _Deeks ignored the blatant sarcasm in her voice. "Have you read the bottom part of the page?"_

 _She glanced at the book and read the last sentence. "_ _According to the symbolic meanings of plants, the fern stands for "sincerity"."_

 _"You are the most sincere person I know. You tell what's in your mind. You are honest with your feelings without offending the others, Belle."_

 _Her face brightened from his words._

 _"So from now on, I'm going to call you Fern!" He added, happy that her mood had lightened up. "Ouch!" Deeks cried when her closed fist landed on his arm._

 _"Don't you dare call me Fern!" With a huff, Belle stood up and went upstairs, bringing her book with her._

 _"Goodnight Fern!" He yelled at her while laughing uncontrollably._

* * *

"It's alright, Deeks. We'll trade secrets at the right time." Kensi acquiesced when he didn't reply. With an understanding smile on her lips, she walked away.

Putting his bag over his shoulder, he quietly followed her.

When they were almost at the door, he whispered loud enough for her to hear. "Sincerity."

She stopped in her steps and turned to him.

"Fern symbolizes sincerity." He begun explaining. "This thing between us, our partnership, I want it to be real. No matter how many roles we have to play for our job, I want to be true to us, Kensi."

She nodded. "I want that too."

He beamed. "So from now on, I'm going to call you Fern, okay?"

"I told you not to call me that!" Exasperated, she punched him on the arm.

"Ouch!"


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: Thank you for consistently reviewing this story! :)

* This chapter is not related to any episode of NCIS LA.

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

 _"Is that a puppy?!" She asked, eyes beaming in awe at the brown and white pup running around the front yard, chasing an invisible enemy._

 _"Yeah, Ray's dog gave birth to him two months ago."_

 _She stared at the man standing on her side. "Is he going to stay with us?"_

 _He gave her a nod, his blue eyes shining at him._

 _"Can I name him?"_

 _He smiled. "I think he'll be happy if you do."_

 _"Really?! Wow! Thank you!" She clapped her hands excitedly, mind thinking already on the possibilities and choices._

 _"On one condition though."_

 _"What is it?" She asked quickly._

 _She saw him reached for her head and felt his hand ruffled her hair._

 _"Don't name him after one of those Ninja Turtles nor your favorite New Kid on the Block_ _." He answered seriously then seconds later, belted out a laugh._

 _She rolled her eyes but smiled. "You are incorrigibl_ _e!"_

Kensi woke up with a smile on her lips. She saw _him_ in her dream again, the man with the blue eyes. He knew her, teased her about her favorites.

'Who are you?'

He was a blur in her mind but his eyes looked familiar. She had seen them, she was sure. She just couldn't remember when or where. The face of her newest partner entered her mind unexpectedly. _Deeks_. He had blue eyes, she noted.

'No, he couldn't be _him._ " Chuckling quietly, she thought to herself as she rose up from the bed and headed towards the bathroom. Kensi couldn't think of him that way. She must not picture him as the man in her dream. It would be weird. He was her partner. She couldn't call him a friend yet but he had already started growing on her.

It had been two weeks since she was partnered with the LAPD detective. Working with Deeks wasn't as easy as she initially thought to be. Although they were from the same side, he was a cop who was trained to follow the law and catch those who don't while she was a federal agent who was willing to bend the law to get her job done. But over the past days, their partnership seemed to be working more harmoniously than before. Their trust and confidence for each other had begun growing.

And Kensi had started looking forward to the days she got to work with him.

* * *

Deeks was getting ready in his room when his landline rang. Glancing at the wall clock, he decided not to answer and let the machine pick up the call. Kensi would arrive any minute now and he didn't want to be occupied with other things when she turns up.

For the past two weeks since they started carpooling, she constantly showed up on his doorstep exactly 30 minutes early than the time they talked about and played with Monty in the living room while he readied himself. After being caught unprepared for the first five days, Deeks started to adjust his schedule half an hour earlier.

 _"Good morning, son."_

Deeks paused from tying his shoelace when he heard his mother's voice through the answering machine.

 _"I know you're busy. But I just want to remind you of your father's birthday next week. There's going to be a party here at our home and he'll be happy to see you, Marty. It's just a simple celebration. Only a few relatives and family friends are invited. Uhm..."_

Holding his breath, he waited for Roberta to continue, already sensing what she was about to say.

 _"I-It's been years, son. I miss you. Your father misses you. We miss you so much. I-If you can't make it to the party, please give us a call. J-Just a call, Marty. We love you. Take care. We're always thinking of you."_

Deeks knew she would be crying as soon as she put the receiver down. Guilt crept in him picturing Roberta in tears. He had never forgotten Gordon's birthday. For four years since he last saw his parents, he had celebrated every important occasion relating with them alone. If it was Gordon or Roberta's birthday or their anniversary and he was available, he would buy a cake and eat it alone at home while imagining that he was in Redford celebrating with them. If it was Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year and the chance permitted, he would buy the same food his mother usually cooked on such occasions and eat them with his dog. That had been his tradition since he left their town and moved here in LA four years ago.

The last conversation he had with Gordon did not end well. Deeks could still picture the loathing on his father's face when he told him of his plan.

* * *

 _Four years ago_

 _"You want to what?!"_

 _Deeks noticed the change in the older man's breathing after hearing what he just said. He watched as his father's blue eyes darkened from anger and his nostrils flared. Sitting across from his desk, he tried not to flinch when Gordon abruptly stood up and started pacing._

 _With a calm voice, he repeated. "I want to resign." Deeks pushed the envelope he put on the table moments ago towards his father more._

 _Gordon saw his action and stopped to grab the white envelope. The older man didn't need to see what was inside to know that it was his resignation letter._

 _Wide-_ _eyed, Deeks witnessed how his father ripped the envelope into small pieces and before he knew it, the torn paper were thrown at him. Some pieces landed on his hair, face and chest while the rest were now scattered on the carpeted floor of Gordon's office. Quietly, he picked them from his hair and body and let them fall on the ground._

 _"Why can't you be more like your cousins?! They are making their parents proud by continuing the Brandel legacy! Brandel and Associates is doing good because of them."_

 _"I'm not like them, dad. Stop comparing me to them." Deeks tried to hide the hurt in his voice._

 _Ever since he could remember, his father had been tying up his life to his cousins. When his cousin Michael was honored as the middle school class valedictorian, Gordon forced Deeks to study harder and bring him the first honor medal too. When his cousin Jenny was sent overseas to compete in a spelling bee tournament, he was compelled to join several competitions in his school and win just so his father could have something to brag to his siblings._

 _"Yes, you are definitely not like them." Sitting once again on his swivel chair, the older man somehow uttered eerily calm. "You wanna know why?"_

 _Deeks knew any anwer he would say was going to be irrelevant so wisely, he remained mum._

 _"Because you are one useless son! You never make me proud! You graduated Law School with a barely passing grade! And even your bar exam result was a disaster!" He shook his head in disgust. "You're a disappointment to your mother. You're a disgrace to this family, Martin! And it's such a shame you're carrying my name because no Brandel would act like the way you do! No Brandel would humiliate this family like you do!"_

 _Hearing Gordon's words, his jaw clenched and his fists tightened on his lap in struggle to stay collected and not bolt from his seat. Deeks didn't even think to argue with his father, discerning how useless it would be anyway. He didn't make a single movement. He stayed on his position. Knowing the older man, he waited for the worst._

 _For the second time that very early morning at Brandel and Associates - Redford Branch, Gordon rose from the president's chair. With a finger pointing at the door, he bellowed in his loudest voice. "_ _Get out of my sight! I never want to see your worthless face again! From now on, you are dead to me!"_

* * *

Deeks could still remember the looks of pity and sympathy he received from his father's employees, who clearly heard the commotion from the inside, when he exited the office. He recalled heading straight to his own office and packing what little things he had put in there and placing them in a box.

Gordon's secretary, Emily, an older woman who treated him like her own son, followed him shortly and tried talking him into staying. But Deeks had made up his mind. His resignation wasn't a sudden decision. He thought of it countless of times before pursuing it. He didn't belong to that building. He wasn't cut to be a lawyer. He wasn't destined to carry on the Brandel name legacy. After giving Emily a tight hug and bidding goodbye to the people he worked with for the past year, he left his office. With a box of his work mementos in his hands, he passed by his father's closed office door, casted one last look at it before walking his way out.

Deeks wasn't surprised to see his mother waiting for him in his apartment located not far from the law firm when he arrived minutes later. He knew Emily had called her as soon as he left. Seeing Roberta's face, he could tell she was already aware of what just happened between him and his father.

* * *

 _"Son." Weeping,_ _Roberta stood up from the sofa and wrapped her arms around him._

 _In her soft embrace, Deeks broke down in tears. The mask of indifference he put on while talking to his father was removed. The pain he tried to ignore back in Gordon's office was let out. In his mother's arms, he let go of his tears, freeing himself from hurt._

 _Roberta hugged him while he cried, letting him know she was there for him._

 _"I-I'm leaving." He whispered. Slowly, he pulled himself away from her. "I'm leaving this town, mom." He saw she was about to open her mouth but he beat her from speaking. "My_ _life isn't here. I tried following what you all want for me. I studied law and became a lawyer like h-him. I did my best to make you proud of me. But I can't do this anymore._ _I can't be who you want me to be. I'm sorry if you think that I am a failure, mom. But I'm tired of pleasing everyone but myself."_

 _Deeks felt his mother's gaze on her as he stood up and paced towards the floor to ceiling glass window occupying one side of his two-bedroom home. His place was in the fourth floor of an apartment building situated at the center of their town. He chose it for the scenic view it provided, giving him the sight of Redford anytime of the day._

 _Looking over the town, Deeks' eyes found the bus terminal and instantly remembered 'her'._ _He closed his eyes and sighed before turning_ _to stare at Roberta. "Do you know how much I miss Belle? It's been 8 years and I still remember her. Of all the people I met,_ _knew and cared about in my life, she's the only one who asked me what do I really want to do. You never asked me that, mom. Dad never asked me that. None of you cared what I really want to be, what would make me happy." Seeing her teary eyes, he smiled sadly._

 _"When I told you the first time that I don't want to be a lawyer, you didn't bother asking me what am I going to do instead. You know what you and dad did? Dad got angry while you pleaded that I consider becoming a lawyer. It didn't matter to any of you what my dream was. But to Belle, it mattered. When she asked me what do I really want to do, I couldn't even give her an exact answer. But she was there and she listened to me. And I owe it to her to finally follow my dream and it isn't in here, mom. I'm sorry."_

* * *

Deeks didn't need to be told twice the depth of his father's hatred for him. He already knew of it the moment he last exited the older man's office. Despite how much Roberta begged, he never showed up again in his parent's home after his resignation. As quickly as he can, he sold his apartment and his appliances and furnitures along with it and moved out of Redford. Confident with the money he saved in the bank, the cash he received from selling his property and the untouched trust fund his grandparents provided him when he turned 21, Deeks came to LA with Monty in tow.

He rented a small one-bedroom apartment and worked as a waiter in one of Hollywood's celebrated restaurant. With the thought of following what Gordon wanted him to do for the last time, he changed his name from Martin Deeks Brandel to Martin Andrew Deeks. His father won't be shameful of him anymore, he mused while gazing over his new ID with his new name printed on it. With a bittersweet smile, he looked at it longer than necessary. Gone was the name he carried for the past 25 years. He was no longer a Brandel. He was now a Deeks.

Three months into working at the restaurant, he realized he couldn't be a waiter all his life. He went to LA to follow his dream and that was what he was going to do. Deeks thought long and plenty of times about what he really wanted and becoming a cop once again entered his mind. Deeks had dreamt of being a policeman once when he was still a child after seeing a cop show in TV and instantly admiring their heroic job. But it was disregarded immediately by his family when they had heard of it. He was told that he was going to be a lawyer like his grandparents, his uncles and aunties, and his father. At a very young age, the legacy of his precious surname was instilled in his mind.

Determined to finally pursue his dream, Deeks met all the necessary requirements, trained, joined LAPD and became a detective. He had been doing undercover job since then.

One year into being a cop or almost two years since leaving Redford, he found the courage to call Roberta at her bakeshop. His mother cried a river upon hearing his voice and he couldn't help but shed tears too. He missed her, missed Gordon, missed their town.

Deeks could tell how worried she was when she had learned of his job. But he told Roberta that he was happy. And it was the truth. Being a cop was a dangerous profession and the pay he was receiving was not as high as his salary as a lawyer. But he was happy. For the first time in a very long time, Deeks was content. He found his role in life. He discovered his passion. He finally had a purpose.

Roberta was disheartened after he disclosed that he changed his name. It brought another set of tears in her mother's eyes. She revealed that him leaving their town broke his father's heart. According to her, Gordon was devastated to discover he was gone. Deeks didn't know if he should believe her. He wanted to, if he didn't know the older man. If he had no knowledge how cold his father's heart could be, he would trust her statement.

Despite her eagerness to learn more of his new life in LA, he balked. He wasn't ready to let her know the details of the life he had made for himself, the things he was ordered to do while in a mission, the criminals he was forced to shoot or kill. There were some things he would rather keep to himself. But he assured her that he was living alright and that he was healthy. She was doubtful but acquiesced.

Before ending the call, he gave Roberta his home address and contact number, not really expecting her to contact him anytime soon. Deeks could sense the distance that developed between the two of them. It wasn't just the miles that separated them, it was what happened before he left Redford. The closeness they once shared was now gone, he sadly realized.

But to his astonishment, his mother left a message for him the next morning. It was a simple 'good morning', 'take care' and 'I love you' but it warmed his heart. And every week since then, she would call his landline. With his job as an undercover cop, Roberta's calls would go straight through his voicemail most of the time. But when he was abled, he would answer and they would talk. They would trade inquiries, stories and jokes. She would tell him news about his father and he would listen quietly. She would ask him when was he going to visit them and he would make excuses, saying how he was about to go deep in a mission or how he couldn't leave his work because they were understaffed.

For four years, Deeks didn't take a single step in Redford again. He was grateful that he had a job that occupied most of his time and mind. The thought of not seeing his mother for years would sadden him had he not kept himself busy with numerous missions.

Hearing the familiar sound of Kensi's vehicle engine turning off, Deeks was pulled from reminiscing. He hurriedly continued tying his shoes and went out of his bedroom to welcome his partner with Monty already on his feet to greet her.

"Good morning." He greeted her as soon as he opened his front door to let her in.

Just one look at her smile could brighten the darkest of his days, he wondered even if she wasn't really smiling at him but to the mutt who was wagging his tail eagerly.

"I swear, he has a nose for smelling treats." Kensi commented while fishing out of her pocket a new collar for Monty and gently placing it around the dog's neck.

Instead of correcting her that it wasn't her treats that made Monty excited, Deeks remained silent.

She glanced at him. "Hey, what's wrong?" Her eyes instantly filled with concern.

"Uhm... it's nothing. I'm gonna go pick my wallet in my room, can you wait for a minute?"

"Of course, take your time, Deeks. I'm just going to seat here with Monty and wait for you." She replied as she slumped her body on the couch, with the mutt not leaving her side.

From his room, he could hear Kensi's laughter and Monty's happy bark. Deeks felt a painful knot in his chest as he thought about what the future was in store for them. He didn't know if he was doing the right thing of not revealing himself to her.

 _What if time comes and she remembers him? What kind of reaction will she have? Will she be angry at him, hate him for it?_

Picking up his wallet from the nightstand, he resigned himself from overthinking. Only Kensi could answer his questions. Only time could tell what will happen next.

"You're spoiling him." He commented as soon as he exited and saw his partner sitting on the floor with Monty on her lap. The dog was almost asleep, content at the gentle hand petting him.

"He is just... I don't know... I never had a pet dog before. But I got this feeling that if ever I had one, he was going to be like yours, like him." Kensi said, turning her head to look up at him. Her brow furrowed. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. Just got some concerns running in my mind."

Slowly standing up, she straightened her clothes. "If you want to talk about it, I just want you to know that I am here, Deeks. I can lend you an ear. They say I am a good listener. And I can be a friend too, if you want."

For the first time that day, Deeks smiled. "Are we friends now?" He teased.

Kensi rolled her eyes. "You are hopeless!"

* * *

He was lying on the couch, one hand holding the TV remote, browsing for an interesting show when he heard his doorbell rang. Deeks frowned, wondering who could it be. Glancing at the wall clock, he noted that it was already past 8 in the evening. He came back from work two hours ago, glad that they didn't have a case that day. He spent the morning in the gym sparring with Sam and the rest of the hours sitting on his desk, finishing his overdue reports.

Deeks noticed his partner's inquiring hazels almost glued to him all day. He could tell she was worried for him but she chose to respect his privacy and didn't question him more. For that, he was grateful. Roberta's call put him in a gloomy mood and he had been somber the whole day.

Another round of ringing forced Deeks to rise from the couch and peek through the peephole. The unexpected visitor was standing outside carrying a pint of rocky road ice cream. She had a nervous smile on her face while wiggling the cold dessert in her hand.

He opened the door for her. "Hi."

"Hey, I-I hope you don't mind."

"Come in."

Kensi stepped inside. "I'm sorry for barging in unannounced. I was in the area and thought to stop by. Am... Am I interrupting you?"

"No, no. I was just trying to find something good to watch. Have a seat, Kensi."

Sitting, she looked around and finally noticed the missing dog. "Where's Monty?"

"He's with my friend. His children borrowed him for the night. Monty loves to play with them."

"Oh. I bought him a pillow. I left it in the trunk. I'm just gonna give it to him when he arrives." She said.

Deeks sat next to her and they spent a minute of awkward silence before his gaze caught the food she was still holding . "Your ice cream... Do you want me to put in the freezer?"

"No. I actually bought them for you. I mean if you want to share it with me, I won't say no." She was smiling as she handed him the pint.

"Okay, I'm going to get spoons so we can eat it."

Moments later, they were watching a rerun of America's Next Top Model episode while indulging themselves in the frozen dessert.

"Whenever I was feeling sad, I tend to eat ice cream. It's my comfort food. My psychiatrist is alright with it. At first she was worried that I would have eating disorder. But I don't overdo it. Just a pint to chase my blues away for the night."

 _She's still consulting with a psychiatrist?_ He asked himself. "Why do you need a psychiatrist?"

"Oh, I'm not crazy or insane or anything like that, Deeks. I... I have issues." She explained briefly. "It's not life threatening to others so you shouldn't be worried." She added as a joke.

"Can you tell me what are they?" He tested. This could be his chance to know more about her, he thought and hoped she wouldn't refuse.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: This chapter has NCIS LA Season 2 Episodes 9 & 10 reference to it.

Thank you! :)

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

 _"Can you tell me what are they?"_

Deeks felt her reluctance for a moment.

Kensi put her spoon down on the pint cover resting on the center table before propping her hands over her lap. Staring at her fingers, she begun. "M-My father died when I was 15. He was all I had since my mom left us when I was 4. He was a Marine. A brave one, Deeks." Glancing at him, he could see in her eyes how proud she was of her father.

Returning her sight on her lap, she continued. "He taught me different things like fixing cars, shooting, track and even how to wire a house. You know, things a father would normally teach a son. He taught me how to survive. He was my best friend, the person I trusted the most. For years, it was only him and me. W-When he died, I kind of l-lost it."

Deeks' heart broke seeing her attempt to hold her tears back. "Kensi," He wanted her to stop, sensing her reminiscing was breaking her. He wanted to tell her she didn't need to relive that particular moment.

She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. "They say it was dissociative fugue. Have you heard of it?"

Having no idea what it was she was talking about, he shook his head no.

With his reply, she went on. "The doctors who ran series of tests on me said I suffered from dissociative fugue. They told me it was because I was too upset of my father's death that I wandered. I still can't recall what exactly happened. That last thing I remember is spending the night alone at home after my dad's funeral. Mrs. Williams, the social worker who was assigned to handle my case, was determined to contact my mother to take me in since I was a minor that time. When Mrs. Williams came by the house the next morning and didn't find me, she thought I ran away because I didn't want to go with my mom."

A rueful smile spread across her face. "Maybe I did. Maybe I did run away, Deeks. I never knew Julia, my mother. She was a stranger to me. I never saw her again after she left me and dad. Last I heard, she's in Boston living with a family of her own. My grandparents were dead and my only uncle died in a car accident years prior to my father's death. I don't know any from Julia's side of the family. You see, it was just me and my father. I don't have anyone aside from him. So maybe Mrs. Williams was right. Maybe I ran away."

He tried not to stare at her as she wiped away the tears that stubbornly escaped her eyes. Deeks could feel her pain. It had always been that way between them. Whenever she was suffering, it was as if he was aching with her. This time it was no different for every tear that fell on her cheeks felt like a dagger jabbed to his chest.

"But the weird thing was, I don't remember leaving my home. That house is my haven, my shelter. I... I don't think I would leave it. My father wouldn't want me to, I know that."

Her gaze moved from him to the TV but he knew she wasn't really watching. She had a faraway look on her face.

"When I was finally aware of what was happening, I found myself standing outside of a store in a town I don't know. I panicked and hopped in a bus I caught my eyes on first. It brought me to Seattle and from there I rode a train to San Diego. I was grateful that I found money in my pocket because I was able to go home."

"Y-You don't remember what you were doing in that t-town?" He asked with bated breath and silently took in her response.

Kensi shook her head sadly and Deeks' shoulders sagged.

"My mind was in a jumble that time. I can't even name the town I was in. No matter how hard I tried to remember anything, I can't. I went for every known procedure that could make me recover the memories I lost but with no positive result."

There was frustration in her voice, he sensed.

"6 months, Deeks. I lost 6 months of my life. Who does that?"

Turning to him, Deeks noticed the different emotions reflecting from her eyes.

"When I arrived home, I found out that half a year had passed since my father's funeral. It sent me in chaos. I felt hopeless and alone. I missed my father. A friend of my dad took me in. His family became my foster family. They helped me with everything and I am forever thankful that they were there for me. I couldn't imagine how different my life would have been if it weren't for them. But the questions of what had I been doing, where did I stay or what kind of life I lived in the months that I disappeared still linger. I-I don't know if I am going to remember any of it or if I even want to."

He felt his world shattered learning how she considered not wanting to recall her life in Redford. "Y-You don't want to remember?"

"I don't know, Deeks." She was doubtful. "What if I did terrible things during those missing months? What if I hurt people? What if I committed crimes? What if I-"

"What if it's the opposite, Kensi?" He interrupted, turning his body sideways to face her. "What if you have been a great person to the people you can't recall? What if you brought joy to them? What if their lives are never the same since you left them? What if until now, you are still in their mind, thinking, wondering what happened to you?"

"W-What do you mean?"

"You said so yourself that in panic, you boarded a bus and never looked back. I-I just thought that maybe there were people who waited for you when you left. Maybe you've become part of someone else's lives. It's a possibility, don't you think?"

She pondered over his words for a moment. "I-I'm afraid, Deeks." She admitted, whispering.

He looked at her downcast form.

"I'm thinking maybe there's a reason why my mind can't recall what happened to me. For years, I let myself believe that not remembering is the best for me. Maybe it's really not but what choice do I have? Who would answer my questions? Who has the missing pieces in the incomplete puzzle called 'my life'?"

"What if you can have the answers you're looking for?"

* * *

That night while lying on her bed, Kensi was restless. The question Deeks asked of her still ran in her mind.

 _"What if you can have the answers you're looking for?"_ He questioned her. But she was sensing that he wasn't just asking her. Between those simple words was an offer, she deemed.

She had never considered herself as a coward. Raised by a Marine father, Kensi was trained to face every obstacle head on. Donald made sure she would grow up to be a strong and brave individual. That was the reason he taught her how to be enduring.

But the exact moment Deeks uttered his question, she retreated. She didn't know if, after all these years, she was prepared to unravel the mystery of her 6-month memory loss. _Maybe she really is a coward,_ she thought as she closed her eyes and let herself succumb to sleep.

* * *

 _She's afraid,_ Deeks mulled as he laid his body on his bed. His mind was in his partner and the silence that filled the room after he asked her what was she was going to do if she could have her missing memory back.

If her response was positive, he would reveal himself to her right there and then. He would be happy to fill her in all the details of her life as 'Belle'. He would disclose everything about her stay in Redford. But she didn't reply and the quietness was enough to let Deeks know she wasn't ready.

He couldn't blame her. Kensi had lived the past 12 years of her life wondering from time to time about her memory loss. He knew the feeling because like her, he spent the same number of years with inquiries about her in his mind.

She was right, Deeks agreed. The questions didn't disappear, they stayed. With that, he was hoping when she found herself ready for the answers, she would seek him.

He closed his eyes and was pulled into slumber not long after.

* * *

"I'll have her back." Deeks uttered from his seat at the back of his partner's Cadillac, parked outside the Certified National Bank in downtown LA.

The team's plan was simple: Callen will pose as Renner's attorney, who is authorized to access his safety deposit box, and retrieve a black book they were convinced was hidden inside. But it was abruptly changed with the addition of CIA and the Russian military intelligence who was filmed shooting a police officer that morning, both wanting the same thing.

The case they were working today started yesterday when they got a person of interest alert flagged by Hetty.

* * *

Yesterday morning the team were called in the office earlier than usual when the name Sebastian Renner popped up on the police report. He was a Swiss antiques dealer who was found murdered near the Hollywood sign. They worked his case the entire day yesterday and found out that he was also a known black marketeer. Renner specialized in weapons, salvaged and stolen, following the break-up of the Soviet Union. He used his antiques dealership as a front for brokering some major arms dealer. Hetty disclosed that their victim had a little black book of weapon buyers and sellers and their priority was to find that book more than to catch his killer. Their boss believed that every spook and his brother would be looking for that intel that was why they have to find it first.

What they thought to be a simple case of searching for a little black book turned out to be a complicated one. Digging more, they discovered that the Intel they were after for was actually a book that belonged to a man named Bernstrom Kohl or Branston Cole, the name he used while living in the US.

Cole was an East German spy who took asylum in the West. Apparently, he had a little black book that contains three decades of Cold War treachery, names of spies, identities of sleeper agents and traitors from a dozen different countries. People believed that it has the power to bring down governments. He traded the information to Renner as a safe passage to the West.

Interviewing the German spy, Callen theorized that it was Hetty who put Cole into an assisted living facility as her husband after shooting him that led to his stroke and blindness so she could keep working him for information but she had never been successful.

The day ended yesterday with the arrest of Matthias Draeger, a former German Spy who knew Hetty from before. Like many other agencies, Matthias came to Los Angeles in search of the coveted black book. He tried to shoot Hetty but was injured by Sam who shot him on his arm. With still the missing Intel, the case was left open. FBI and NSA were brought up to round up the rest of the foreign operatives still lurking around.

The team went home last night tired from the day's events. None of them had an idea what tomorrow would bring.

* * *

Deeks' morning began with jogging around his neighborhood with Monty in tow. Spending all his focus on the case yesterday, his conversation with Kensi the other night when she came to him with a pint of her favorite ice cream was never brought up. But now as he was doing his morning exercise, his thoughts flew to his partner. From the casual way she acted yesterday, he discerned that their previous chat was now a closed book. She never gave a sign that she wanted to continue what they talked about that night and he had to respect that.

It was apparent that what she opened up to him about her condition while sharing the frozen dessert and watching her favorite TV show was not something she was used to disclose so easily. Except for Hetty who obviously knew, Deeks even wondered if her teammates were knowledgeable about her Dissociative Fugue. _Maybe not,_ he thought.

Thinking more of her, the Kensi he knew now was very different from the spirited teenage girl he met when she was 15 and he was 18, he realized. Upon learning the tragic events of her past, Deeks tracked down the year and months she spent with him in Redford and was now aware of her true age during her 6-month stay with him and his family. She had changed, he noted. There was an invisible wall surrounding her now. Maybe it was because of what she went through in her younger years or maybe it was a defense mechanism in her part to protect herself. But whatever reason she had, Deeks understood. He was hoping that time will come when she could let him in. He wanted to be a part of her life just like before and he would do anything to make it happen.

With that thought in mind, he moved himself back to his house.

* * *

 _"I'll have her back."_

Deeks listened to the new plan Callen was discussing with Kensi and watched as she hurriedly paced towards the entrance of the bank with Matthias following her. Sam exited the vehicle and he moved to sit behind the wheel and wait for Kensi's return.

That morning, the team discovered Cole's death, along with his nurse and the guard on duty, inside the facility where he was staying. Recognizing the people who killed Cole as Russian military intelligence, the hunt for his black book was declared as the motive for his murder.

Uncovering more of their yesterday's victim's life, Eric discovered Renner's hidden bank account that has a safety deposit box attached in it while Nell found its key. A plan was easily formulated with Callen entering the bank while Sam, Kensi and him will be just outside providing back up. But as soon as they parked their vehicles near the entrance of the building, they noticed several Russian intelligence waiting for them. Callen received a phone call warning him not to move from his position as a laser was pointed to his chest from a shooter above the building. He was told to give them the book or he will die.

Seconds later, Hetty received a call from Matthias who is now working for the CIA instructing her that one of the agents would be joining Callen in his car and when NCIS gets the book, they have to hand it over to him.

With the circumstances they were in, Callen was forced to develop a new plan and it now involves Kensi entering the bank, checking the safety deposit boxes and exiting while pretending she has the book to bait the Russians. Meanwhile, Sam will pretend as Renner's attorney and check the box for the book.

Seeing Kensi rushed towards the exit with the Russian behind her, he readied the vehicle and waited until she climbed inside before quickly driving them away. Deeks immediately saw a car chasing them and with expertise, he maneuvered Kensi's vehicle ending up with the car pursuing them crashing into a garbage truck.

Thinking everything was over, he turned to Kensi. "You wanna get some ice cream?"

"Deeks! Look out!"

Surprised to see another car pulled out in their front, Deeks brought the vehicle to a screeching halt. In seconds, the partners were standing outside with their guns pointed to the three Russians who had their weapons drawn towards them.

"Give us the book." The man in the center, the leader perhaps, demanded, his eyes focused on Kensi.

"We don't have it."

"Purse."

Warily, she retrieved her bag and threw it to the other man. He wasted no time searching for the book inside. Unsuccessful with his quest, he dumped it and its content on the ground.

"Told you." Kensi said, a smirk was on her lips.

Same smirk spread across the leader's face and it brought Deeks unknown fear.

"Then get in the car."

Deeks shook his head 'no', immediate anger coursed through him realizing the enemy's intent. "No. She's not going anywhere." He tightened his grip on his gun.

"Then four of us die and one of us lives."

Subtly, he studied the situation. There were three bad guys with their weapons pointing between him and Kensi. 3 versus 2. All armed. All trained how to shoot and kill. Statistics and numbers were not in their favor at the moment, Deeks deduced.

"He's got a point." He mumbled. "All right, take me."

"Deeks?"

He heard surprised in Kensi's voice but he had already made up his mind. If these men were going to take one of them, he was making sure it was him. "She's just a cop. She's not even an agent. Tell you the truth, no one really even likes her that much. Too pretty for her own good, kind of a snob."

Deeks knew he was babbling and wished it was working. He was buying seconds until back up arrives. He can hear from the comm link in his ear that Callen and Sam were on their way.

"Get in the car." The leader ordered. His patience was wearing thin, Deeks knew from the tightness of his voice.

"Kensi, don't move."

Deeks saw her lowered her gun down and he started to panic.

"Nice try, Deeks." She said, throwing her weapon inside the car.

"Kensi."

She closed the passenger door and took a step towards the bad guys. Turning to him, she said. "It's okay. You'll get me back."

Deeks' heart tightened at her words. They were softly spoken yet full of confidence. It was like she knew he'll do anything to have her back and she wasn't wrong. He'll get her back, he silently vowed. Helplessly, he watched as the leader grabbed Kensi's upper arm and dragged her towards their car.

"Tell your superior, her life for the book."

"Oh, yeah? How do you know I'm not the superior? I could be." He answered back as the men hopped in the car following his partner. "Kensi?" He called her one last time. "Damn it." He cursed as one of the three blew his vehicle's wheels. "Eric, I got a license plate for you. It's nine, queen, John, Ida, nine, zero, five." He said over the comm link.

Deeks heard a car pulled over behind him and knew it was Callen and Sam. With his eyes not leaving the street where the Russians passed through moments ago, he informed them. "They got Kensi."

* * *

"This is all my fault." He voiced out. His eyes glued to the big screen in front of him, a live video feed of Kensi standing still inside an unidentifiable room was playing for the entire team to see.

Callen was quick to negate his words. "No. My plan, my fault." He left the room following Hetty without further words.

Minutes ago, they arrived at the bullpen with hurried steps and was welcomed by Nell informing them of an anonymous caller phoning a website to the Navy Yard in D.C. who forwarded Eric the link. The untraceable website was showing the NCIS of Kensi alive and unharmed.

Although relief spread through him upon seeing her unhurt, Deeks couldn't deny the ache that formed in his chest while looking at her helplessly on the screen. He was berating himself for not doing enough to protect her. Kensi was in the hands of the enemy because he let it happen and he hated himself for it.

* * *

Deeks exited Ops Center, no longer able to watch her suffer alone, and found himself at the building's rooftop.

While Hetty and Callen were talking downstairs, the rest of the team continued to monitor Kensi. They started to wonder why she wasn't moving nor making attempt to find a way to escape when it had been a couple of hours and she remained in her position.

 _"She's waiting," he told them of his hunch while readying his gun. "for us." He wanted to add 'for me' in his sentence but opted not to._

Deeks knew she was waiting for him to get her back. Those were her last words before she was taken. And it was killing him because he couldn't do anything. They do not have the bloody black book those Russians wanted. It wasn't in Renner's safety deposit box. Sam left the bank empty handed.

Agitated, he ran his hand through his hair and blew out an exhale.

"Mr. Deeks."

He turned and saw Hetty striding towards him. "Hetty,"

"We're going to give the Russians what they want and we're going to get back Miss Blye."

"I-I can't lose her again. I-I just found her." He didn't care if he sounded weak in front of her. The older woman had to know how important Kensi was in his life. "A couple of nights ago she trusted me enough to tell me what happened to her. I could tell it wasn't easy for her to do that but she did. And today she trusted me that I'll have her back. I can't break her trust."

Hetty's voice was reassuring when she spoke. "You'll have her back, Mr. Deeks."

"How?"

* * *

"Are you sure?"

He wasnt. "No." But his outstretched hands were as steady as a rock. Deeks put her image, in his front and bent forward, and its surprising effect in him at the back of his mind. Now was not the time to think how Kensi looked like trying to avoid the laser beams that will trigger the explosion of the bombs in the room once touched. The sight of her evading the beams was doing something in him, something he didn't want to peruse at that place and moment, or ever if possible.

30 minutes ago, a contact was made by the Russians who were holding his partner. They posted the where and when the exchange will take place at the website where her live video was feeding. Cole's black book for Kensi's life in half an hour at LA Memorial Coliseum, the post said.

Nell was able to provide the team of a small book with Cold War's information to hand over to the Russians in exchange for Kensi. If the foreign men were foolish enough to accept the book and Deeks was able to convince them of its genuineness, that would mean freedom for his partner.

Now, he was standing steps away from Kensi with his hands held out and beams of laser were preventing him to get closer to her. When he stepped inside the room where she was being held, Deeks didn't expect to see her trapped. She asked him to turn off the light before he could step farther towards her. Once he did, for a second he forgot to breathe. Inside the room were explosives that will blow up once the lasers surrounding her breaks, she explained. He offered to call Bomb Squad but she begged him she can't stand any longer.

Kensi looked tired and weary. _Who wouldn't,_ he justified. When you've been standing frozen for more than a couple of hours, you'll grow tired too. Deeks quickly made Plan B. Adding an attachment to his gun, he would be able to shoot the source of the beam with the same laser frequency so she could escape. His plan was a success until he couldn't reach the last sources. On her own, Kensi moved carefully over and above the beams.

When she was near enough, he offered her his hands.

She placed her hands over his and he grasped them.

"On three. You ready?" He asked. When she nodded, he began the countdown. "One,"

"Two," She uttered next.

Eyes on each other, hands intertwined, they both said. "Three."

* * *

She felt him grabbed her, his arms wrapped around her tightly and protectively as they both flew out the door, the bombs that had been threatening her life the minute she was placed in the room were bursting inside. Kensi heard his grunt when they landed on the ground, his body catching the impact of their fall. She found herself gasping for breath above her partner.

When she woke up that morning after another one of her faceless dreams, she had no idea that she would be held hostage by Russians, forced to stand in room with bombs and lasers surrounding her and hoped for Deeks to come get her back the soonest.

Deeks. Her partner. Her new friend.

Two nights ago she knocked on his door with a pint of ice cream in her hand and a mission to comfort him. Kensi didn't know the reason for his gloominess that morning but whatever it was, she wanted to let him know that he could count on her. But somehow that night ended with her telling him of her condition. It surprised her to realize how open she had been with him about her life. There were only a few people who knew her past. Not because the people around her never tried to learn more. But because she chose it to be that way.

Kensi liked simplicity. Her mind had been through a lot in her 27 years of existence that she hated complicated things, hated overthinking. Some might say she was a closed-off. Maybe it was true. Living like an orphan since the age of 15, she tend to isolate herself from everyone and everything. For years, she had let only a couple handful of people in her life. Those people were her most trusted few: some of her good friends, the family who took care of her since her return from wandering, love interest who she had hoped to be in her future only for him to leave in the end and others who she considered important. It worked for her that way. The simple the thing the better.

But enter Deeks. She couldn't deny the connection she felt towards him since meeting him barely a month ago. It was new for her, seeing the man for the first time but feeling like knowing him longer. That never happened before. Kensi was a stranger to this kind of feeling yet she was unafraid. She should be, she discerned. But she wasn't. The unfamiliar feeling she had towards her partner was comforting in a way.

That was why when he asked her that night if she could tell him her issues, her admittance flowed freely. Only when he asked her if she could have the answers to her missing memories back would she welcome them that she folded. But it was because of her cowardice and not because of her not trusting him enough.

She trusted Deeks. She trusted him to watch her six when they are on the field. She trusted him with her past. She trusted him with her life.

When she lowered her weapon hours ago and allowed the Russians to take her, she trusted him that he'll get her back. And he did. Deeks came and rescued her.

She felt his hand clearing her face of some of her hair, pushing the strands behind her ear. Somehow satisfied that he could see her face clearly now, he held her on her hips. His blue eyes were almost teary as they stared at her. A tug in her chest grew stronger the longer she gazed at him. _His eyes. They were like the eyes of the man in my dreams._

Surprised that he jolted, she broke away from looking at him. Kensi assumed he was hearing their teammates' voices through his earpiece. Hers was immediately removed by the Russians as soon as she was brought in the car.

"We're good." She heard him spoke. "You okay?" He turned to her.

"I gotta pee." She answered before she could hold herself. Kensi felt the heat on her cheeks at her response. She mentally slapped herself for replying without thinking.

He might have noticed her embarrassment because he nonchalantly uttered, "I think I just did."

It was his way to let her know she need not to feel ashame and for that, she was grateful.

Still on top of him, she grinned and he grinned with her.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews/favorites/follows. :)

I used NCIS LA Season 2 Episode 7 as a reference for this chapter but some details are changed.

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

Deeks didn't know what was more terrifying, the fact that his partner beat Sam in their sparring that morning or the victory laugh she made when she won. He shook his head and smiled, returning his attention back to his report. He didn't need to think more of his answer, Kensi's laugh had always been frightening simply because it was so beautiful. Very beautiful. His head jerked up at his thought, the paperwork over his desk was suddenly forgotten. Did he just use the word beautiful while describing her laugh?

Things have been turning weird for him lately, he mused. He couldn't tell when it started but Kensi had been taking up his mind these past days, from the moment he opened his eyes every morning up to the time he closed them at night. Even in his dreams, she had unknowingly been filling every second of it.

Deeks rarely had dreams but whenever he had one of them lately, it was about her. Sometimes it was a retelling of several memorable moments she spent with him in Redford. Other times, he had to take cold shower as soon as he woke up. The vision of her in a tight black dress, the same cloth she wore during their Aubrey Darva mission, walking towards him, stopping in his front before turning around and bending, the same way she bent last week when she was avoiding those laser beams, was putting him in an awkward situation because he had to work with her after picturing her in that position. And it was awkward.

"Hey, you okay there?"

Startled at Sam's voice beside him, he whirled and saw him sitting on his chair, looking at him in a weird way. He cleared his throat to collect himself. "Y-Yeah, just thinking about something."

"Woman?"

That moment, he hated that he was surrounded by people who could catch lies so easily. Denying the truth would only make the Senior Agent probe deeper so Deeks chose to be honest. "Actually yes."

A smirk played across Sam's face. "It's always a woman who can turn a man into mush."

"Mush? Are you a mush now Deeks?" Callen, who just arrived from Ops Center with Kensi, teasingly asked. He apparently heard their conversation.

The two sat behind their desks across from his and Sam's. Deeks eyed his partner. She was looking at him with a teasing smile on her lips. Obviously, she heard it too.

"I'm not." He replied.

The three pair of eyes stared at him in doubt.

Shrugging his shoulders, he avoided their gazes and tried to revert back to his report. "I really am not."

"How's the date, Kens?"

Callen's question caught his attention. Lifting his head, he waited for her response.

Deeks knew of her and Nell's double date. The two women were discussing their plan last Friday loud enough for the rest of the team to hear. Nell met a man in her yoga class and requested Kensi to join her in a date. From what he had gathered from Eric, Nell's date had a cousin who was in town for the weekend and thought it was wise to bring him over to their dinner plan, prompting the redhead to ask Kensi's presence to be the man's companion for the night. His partner agreed, not that he was surprised. She was now a woman, no longer the 15 year old girl living under the Brandel's roof. He knew he had no say to her decisions just like he had no say about it 12 years ago.

* * *

 _"What does he want?" He questioned as soon as she put the receiver back to its place._

 _She might not have noticed him standing only a few steps from her because Deeks caught the surprise on her face. He looked at her and waited for her answer. He really need to know what his friend, Glenn, was up to when he called for 'Belle'._

 _He was playing basketball with his friends and classmates at the court near their school yesterday morning when Roberta stopped by with 'Belle'. They had just been around the neighborhood delivering a birthday cake and was about to return to the bakery when her mother noticed his parked car and decided to check on him._

 _To say he was furious to see his friends' reaction in meeting 'Belle' was an understatement. She had been living with them for almost a month now and had yet to meet anyone of his friends. She usually spent her days reading, helping Roberta and talking to her psychiatrist during their scheduled consultation. She never complained about it and he thought it was probably best for her so as not to overwhelm her with his kind of life. But apparently his mother had a better idea._

 _His four friends, Ray, Timothy, Richard and Glenn, were all shocked to see her and learn that she had been living with him that long without their knowledge. Ray, his closest friend, was the most stunned but didn't comment. The long haired man had already been in his home twice since 'Belle's' arrival but never saw nor met her._

 _They all welcomed 'Belle' with either a handshake or a wave of hello. Deeks noticed a spark of interest in Glenn's eyes as his gaze never left her. Irritated at his friend's obvious attraction to her, he told his mother she was disturbing their game and has to leave now. She acquiesced and left the court with the younger woman but not after he stood by and watched Glenn accompanied them to the car._

 _Deeks forced himself not to confront his friend and ask what game was he playing because he knew the man. He was just like him, that was why they were friends in the first place. Glenn Dalton was the youngest son of their school principal, Mr. Roger Dalton. His mother was a banker. Being the youngest of three children, he was used to getting all he wanted. A spoiled brat like him, he thought sourly._

 _"You should relax man." Ray patted his shoulder and gave him a knowing smile._

 _Deeks ignored him and went back to the game, dismissing the discomfort brought by Glenn's interest in 'Belle'._

 _He hoped that his friend wouldn't dare make a move on her but his prayer went unanswered when the next morning she received a call from Glenn while they were eating breakfast in the kitchen._

 _Deeks answered the ringing of the telephone and hid his disdain when he recognized the the man on the other side as Glenn who asked for her. He passed the phone to 'Belle' and stayed near to eavesdrop on them._

 _"What does he want, Belle?" He repeated._

 _"Uhm... He kinda asked me if I want to watch his game tomorrow night."_

 _Did he forgot to mention Glenn plays football? Yeah. That was one of their few differences. While Deeks had no interest in sports because he was busy pleasing his father academically, his friend was a varsity player in their school._

 _"He said the game is at 7 in the evening. He offered to pick me up and bring me home after." She added._

 _"No."_

 _Her hazel eyes grew wide before they narrowed. "N-No?"_

 _He nodded. Deeks sensed she was waiting for him to explain his answer but he kept his mouth shut. He began walking away from her when he heard her voice._

 _"Hey,"_

 _He felt her hand on his arm, halting him._

 _"What did you mean when you said no?"_

 _"No. As in no you can't go with him tomorrow, Belle."_

 _Confused at his words, a crease formed on her forehead. "Do you think I should be the one to answer him, not you?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Stop saying no!"_

 _"No."_

 _She took several deep breaths in an obvious way to calm herself. "I don't know what has got into you, Deeks, but Glenn asked me, not you. So it is me who has to answer him, not you."_

 _Deeks crossed his arms over his chest. "And your answer will be what?"_

 _"I...I don't know. I told him I'll call him back to let him know. But whatever it will be, it will be my decision not yours."_

 _"You can't go with him."_

 _"Why? He is your friend."_

 _"He is my friend that's why I know him. Glenn is..." Deeks didn't want to let her know how similar he and his friend were when it came to relationships. Glenn's track record was the same as his. They both treat girls the same way and Deeks are not going to stand by and witness how his friend will break 'Belle's' heart. No, he will do anything in his power to prevent that. "Glenn is... He's like me, Belle."_

 _"Then he's a good guy."_

 _Deeks laughed dryly. "No, he's not."_

 _"Then why-"_

 _"Because I'm not a good guy!" He yelled frustrated, running his hand through his hair. "I'm not who you think I am. I'm a bad person. I cheat not just on my quizzes and exams, I cheat on my girlfriends, if that's what they want to call themselves. I fight with my fists and not just once was almost apprehended. I smoke and drink. I am a terrible person, Belle. And you don't want to be associated with the likes of me. You deserve more. And Glenn... We're the same."_

 _Stunned, it took a while before she spoke. Shaking her head, she murmured. "Y-You're a good person. You saved me."_

 _"That was a first for me. I don't go out at night rescuing people who fainted and bringing them to hospital. I don't do that. I was just at the right place at the right time when I saw you. I'm not an angel. And so is Glenn."_

 _"Stop talking about him! I don't care if he is even the devil in disguise, Deeks."_

 _Deeks saw tears welling up her eyes. "Belle," He took a step closer to her and placed his hands over her shoulders._

 _"You may not be the person I initially thought you were. But that doesn't change the fact that if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here right now. You saved me and that's enough for me to know that you are a good person. That won't change. You will always be my angel no matter what." Raising her palm, she put them over his chest. "Give yourself some credit, Deeks. You gave a good heart, I know it."_

* * *

Kensi's brow furrowed seeing her partner looking lost for a while. She smiled when he caught her watching him. Having heard Sam's statement that a woman was making Deeks mush, she wondered who that woman was. As far as she knew, his unnamed relationship with Detective Mason, his former handler, had ended even before he reported to OSP, he told her himself. If that was true, was he dating someone else now?

"For a man, you're snoopy Callen." She answered her team leader who just threw a smirk.

"Oh, come on, Kensi, tell us about it." Sam urged.

"Seriously, guys?! You know I don't kiss and tell."

"So there was kissing involved."

She rolled her eyes. "Nope. There's no kissing. We just ate. That's it."

"Second date?" Callen inquired with a raised brow, knowing she rarely went to second dates.

"He's living in Chicago. So no, no second date."

Sam shrugged. "At least your partner's love life seems to be better than yours."

"Well, that's a consolation." She replied, struggling to act as nonchalant as possible.

* * *

"Stop squirming!"

Deeks heard her as she held a cloth with ice cubes over his left eye. "They're cold."

Even with his vision impaired, he could easily tell that she just rolled her eyes at him. "Of course they're cold, they're ice, Mr. Genius. I don't know why I bother helping you. After what you said about me today, I feel I'm turning soft not blowing your other eye."

He knew what she was talking about. His little speech at the reception area of an elite spa in Malibu that morning had already earned him two punches on the shoulder courtesy of his pissed partner. "I said I was sorry. I was in character. I didn't mean any of those, you know it."

Their case that day involved Michael Barnes, a State Department employee who was a former Marine and who also worked in intelligence in Iraq, Adam Russell, cosmetic surgeon who was found dead in his clinic in Beverly Hills, Jillian Leigh, Dr. Russell's pregnant wife who also worked as his nurse and the members of 'Chutanis', a Mogadishi-based terror cell who belonged on the FBI's most wanted list for murder, money laundering and extortion amongst other crimes.

Barnes was killed in a shooting incident outside the Federal Building. Security footage showed he was shot protecting Jillian who ran off scared from the scene. Callen and Sam went to Jillian's workplace and found her husband dead on the floor. Forensics identified the man who shot Barnes from the print he left on the crime scene as terrorist Assan Rafiq. To the surprise of the team, Assan's picture didn't match the man on the footage. It was then they concluded that he underwent a cosmetic surgery conducted by Dr. Russell. Having been one to see the terrorists before and after their operation, the team realized only Jillian could identify them.

Still searching for the missing nurse, Kensi and Deeks were led to an exclusive spa after seeing a flier pasted on the refrigerator of Jillian's and Dr. Russell's home. Deeks had fun riling his partner when he posed as her manager and talked to the receptionist that he didn't mind the couple of punches she threw at him after.

But Karma made its way sooner than he wanted when they saw Jillian inside the spa and he followed her. He ended up with a black eye and several bruises on his arms and legs after being hit by several angry women from the inside of the shower room where he saw the missing nurse walked in. Having his attention focused on following her, Deeks was too late to realize that he entered a room filled with half naked women who felt mad and violated by his presence. He was so embarrassed when it took Kensi and two spa employees to calm the women and stop them from beating him. Learning that he lost track of Jillian in the crowd furthered his humiliation. His partner took the liberty of narrating the incident to the team back at the office when they returned and he suffered endless rounds of picking on the entire day.

Despite the setback, the case ended with the team successfully preventing an attack to a ship where a black tie event was being held with the Governor, foreign dignitaries, a bunch of Hollywood celebrities in attendance. Callen and Sam learned that the Chutanis was plotting to use sarin gas to kill everyone aboard the ship. He and Kensi found Jillian in her former supervisor's home. With her successfully identifying the terrorists, the attack was prevented.

Deeks' evening was being spent with his partner taking care of his bruised face in his home. It was nice to learn that the caring girl he knew back then was still in the now older Kensi. There was one time in the past that she took care of him the same way she was doing right now. Remembering the incident brought warmth to his heart.

* * *

 _"Deeks?! Oh my God! What happened?!"_

 _'Belle's' flabbergasted face welcomed him as soon as he entered the house. Deeks walked straight to the kitchen with wide-eyed and confused 'Belle' and Ray, who went with him from school, striding behind him. He opened the freezer door and grabbed a bag of frozen peas. Sitting on one of the breakfast stools, he placed the bag over his split lips and winced._

 _"He got into a fight." Ray answered for him._

 _Deeks glared at his friend. The long haired man smirked at him._

 _"Fight?! With whom? Are you alright?" 'Belle' stood close to him, her face crowding his as she inspected his bruises._

 _Feeling slightly uncomfortable at her breaching his personal space, he turned his face away. "I'm fine. This is nothing."_

 _"Nothing?!" Taking the bag from his hand, she took charge of holding it over his lips. "Your lips are torn and there's a bruise forming on your cheek. Who did you fight with?"_

 _Deeks stayed silent._

 _"Glenn."_

 _"Shut up, Ray." He growled and winced when his action brought him pain._

 _Quickly, his friend held his palms up in surrender. "Chill man, I'm just answering her question, no need to hate me. Guess I better leave now. Nice to see you again, Belle. See you tomorrow, Deeks."_

 _She smiled. "Thank you for looking after him, Ray."_

 _"Thanks man." He uttered._

 _They watched Ray retreating form silently._

 _"I can do it." He tried to grab the bag but she only swatted his fingers with her free hand. "Belle,"_

 _"Why did you and Glenn fight?"_

 _Deeks didn't want to answer her but looking at her inquiring eyes, he acquiesced. "He said some things I didn't like. I punched him, he punched me."_

 _"You don't want to tell me about it." She guessed with a sigh._

 _She guessed right. If he could help it, 'Belle' wouldn't know she was the reason he punched his friend. Glenn didn't take her refusal to his invitation two days ago lightly, thought Deeks was to blame and confronted him about it at the school's parking lot after their class. Not that Deeks wasn't to blame._

 _After admitting to her how he felt about Glenn's invitation, Belle called his friend back and told him 'no'. Relief flooded him when she narrated her conversation with Glenn. Deeks would never trust the man with 'Belle' and after what happened between them today, he was glad he did his best to warn her and was grateful that she listened to him._

 _When he_ _confronted him, Deeks didn't deny his accusation. The varsity player was mad and began telling him things. Only when his friend cited that Deeks blocked his attempt on 'Belle' because Deeks didn't want anyone tapping her ass aside from him did his patience snapped._

 _Clouded with instant rage, Deeks didn't hesitate, raised his fist and punched the man on his face. Glenn stumbled down the floor, surprised. The varsity player recovered easily and threw in a punch on him. Blows were exchanged. When they were separated by the school authorities_ _, both had split lips and bruises._

 _"Damn it!"_

 _His hissed startled 'Belle'. "What is it?"_

 _"Gordon will sure have a fit tonight."_

* * *

 _Struggling to control his anger, Deeks exited the front door heaving. He strode towards the lawn, raised his head and let out a frustrated scream. Tears burning his eyes as he looked up at the starry sky._

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _He swiveled and saw 'Belle' a few steps behind him. He frowned at her teary face. "What are you apologizing for?"_

 _"I'm not stupid, Deeks. I know I'm the reason you and Glenn fought. He hates you because I said no. I feel terrible. Maybe if I agreed to-"_

 _He closed the distance between them. "Stop it. The guy's a jerk. He proved it himself today. I don't regret putting those bruises on his face."_

 _"But Gordon- He's mad at you."_

 _"I don't care. That man is always angry at me. There's nothing new there." He shrugged._

 _She locked steady glare at him. "Stop acting like he doesn't affect you, Deeks."_

 _Unable to lie to her, he looked away. "He doesn't. I don't care."_

 _"You tell yourself that but we both know you care about him so much because you're doing all these things to please him."_

 _Deeks stared at her, wonder marring his face. "How do you that? Knowing me better than anyone? It's as if you can always see right through me, the real me."_

 _She smiled. "I don't really know, Deeks. Sometimes I feel like I'm destined to be here. To come to your town and meet you."_

 _For a moment, they held each other's gaze. He felt it too. Destiny. She came to his life unexpectedly yet after knowing her for barely a month, she had become so much more than the amnesiac girl he rescued. 'Belle' was a friend. And he will protect her from people like Glenn, Gordon's reaction be damned._

* * *

"Deeks?"

Kensi's soft voice brought him back to the present.

She had an understanding smile on her lips. "You must really like her."

"Her?" Confused, he asked. "What are you talking about?"

"The woman, whoever she is." She put the cloth down over the center table.

"What woman?"

Deeks saw her rolled her eyes. "It's okay if you don't want to tell me about her, Deeks."

"I want to tell you about her but I don't know who you're talking about."

"The woman you and Sam were talking about back at the office?" She stared at him with a raised brow and waited.

"Oh...that." Deeks had forgotten all about that. "It's nothing. I lied to Sam."

He didn't think she believed his lie when she turned silent. He was not going to tell her that she was the one in his mind when Sam caught him daydreaming. Even before when she was 'Belle', she had always been his friend. Having not so friendly thoughts about her was something he wasn't ready to face yet.

"Do you know I can see the truth in your face? But I won't broach anymore. It's getting late, I think I'll go." She smiled and rose from the couch.

Monty who had been sleeping near her feet roused and started wagging his tail. "Gotta go Monty." Kensi patted his ear fondly before heading towards the door. Deeks walked with her.

She stopped when she reached the doorway. "Have a good night, Deeks. Don't forget the two painkillers I placed over your kitchen counter. Drink them. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Kensi." His eyes followed her as she hopped in her car and drove away.

"I can't explain how you can see the real me even after all this time." Shaking his head, he closed the door and strode towards his bedroom with Monty following him.


End file.
